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Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 6:03 pm Posts: 9359 Location: Washington State
Simple Torture wrote:
lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
1. Serious problem! 2. Panic! 3. Calm down. 4. Come up with ingenious solution. 5. Repeat.
You forgot "make dumb joke relevant to situation at hand", probably around step 3.5 or 4.5 I think. I read it twice: regular book (saw the cover in the library and said "I gotta read that") and ebook right before the movie came out.
As far as the movie goes, I liked it but they changed one of the strongest scenes in the book for the movie and I didn't like that at all. It was such an easy softball scene too, one of the easiest ones to film. Man, that still makes me mad.
Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 6:03 pm Posts: 9359 Location: Washington State
My son told me the other day that he's getting tired of the good guys winning in books. The bad guys are obviously OP with tons more money, people, and resources in general than the good guys but the good guys win every time. He said it shouldn't happen like that because there's never a good enough reason for the good guys to win since it happens out of nowhere.
Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 7:41 am Posts: 19718 Location: Cumberland, RI
bune wrote:
My son told me the other day that he's getting tired of the good guys winning in books. The bad guys are obviously OP with tons more money, people, and resources in general than the good guys but the good guys win every time. He said it shouldn't happen like that because there's never a good enough reason for the good guys to win since it happens out of nowhere.
Hopefully he doesn't change his tune by the time he's my students' age. "Why does every story have someone die in it, Mr. B? Why didn't the main character just believe in himself, Mr. B? Why is everyone so sad in this book, Mr. B? Do you think the author is depressed, Mr. B?"
Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 7:41 am Posts: 19718 Location: Cumberland, RI
Quote:
MARCH 19, 2014 KAFKA’S JOKE BOOK
JOHN MCNAMEE
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It had been crossing so long it could not remember. As it stopped in the middle to look back, a car sped by, spinning it around. Disoriented, the chicken realized it could no longer tell which way it was going. It stands there still.
- - -
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” Alois asked again, more insistently.
“Knock knock.”
And so it went for years. It wasn’t until his deathbed Alois realized he was on the outside of the door.
- - - “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“I don’t know,” Gregor told the faceless interrogator for the fiftieth time.
“We can’t help you if you won’t work with us. Perhaps another day in the machine will convince you to cooperate.”
- - - What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
Nothing after Albert’s inexplicable transformation. Every breath was agony.
- - - [To heckler] Hey, I don’t come down to where you work and expose the bureaucratic machine in which you’re embedded as the dehumanizing monolith it is.
- - -
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
“I was born into servitude, and when I die, my feet will be turned into glue,” replied the horse.
The bartender realized he would not be getting a tip.
- - - [Holding a rubber chicken] Behold this mockery of food.
- - - Yo momma’s so fat, that she hasn’t left the flat in three years. Her only solace is the figurine of the ballet dancer that she stares at day in day out. One day, you slip on a banana peel, destroying it.
- - - If the system has no place for you, and you’re forced to live on its fringes teetering between poverty and anarchy… you may be a redneck.
- - - [Wearing arrow through head] This arrow does not bring the release I so desperately crave.
- - - Take my wife, please. I can no longer support her and don’t wish to since we lost the child.
- - - What’s black and white and red all over?
The prisoners in the penal colony. The sun was especially brutal that day, and the warden had taken their roofs as punishment for an unnamed crime.
- - - A first sign of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die. Am I right, ladies?
Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 6:03 pm Posts: 9359 Location: Washington State
Finished this book while on vacation:
Everyone in it's an asshole. Well, Jay's about the only one who doesn't come off as an asshole but that's because he's so unbelievably idiotic that you wonder how he can tie his shoes together without help. And apparently he's married but she's mentioned maybe twice in the whole book, and even then it was a "this marriage is a convenience". David's incredibly insecure, to the point where I started to actively hate him and his decision making. It's like, you are in one of the best positions that a person could ask for professionally and you're sabotaging everything that people want for you to move to the next level. Just stop butting in ffs.
Now I need to read the next one and see how NBC could be so stupid twice.
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