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Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 2:38 pm
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Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 12:41 pm Posts: 4013
malice wrote:
Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015
it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)
i have a shit ton of happy memories of her and those arent the ones that get me down but its more the fact that shes gone, that i literally watched her check out in front of my face. i didnt go to the hospital when the decision was made to pull the plug. i cant say it would have made me happier or sadder knowing i was there but i do feel like it would have messed me up something more than i am now. i have always had trust/abandonment issues and this only adds to them.
oddly enough the night she officially passed my cousins wife posted on facebook how heaven gained an angel etc and i texted my brother asking if she went peacefully. he was standing right next to my aunt as they both read the text. as they read it they both looked at each other as the dr called the official time. apparently my cousins wife jumped the gun a bit (whether intentionally or not) when she made her post. both said it kinda weirded them out reading it as the dr pronounced her passing
the next day from this screen shot was when it all started
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 3:23 pm
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Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 6:03 pm Posts: 4354 Location: Washington State
When my dad passed he first fell ill and was put in hospital for monitoring. My family - who all lived within one or two states of him - wanted me to fly out for the proceedings - I live in Washington and would have had to fly to Washington DC to get to the hospital. It was not fiscally feasible for me, especially knowing that if he did pass I really didn't want to be there to see that. I wanted to remember him as the strong one, not see him lying on his deathbed. And then they kept trying to send me pictures! Jesus Christ.
I went to the funeral the next week. Though no one told me until I was actually in the door that "oh hey, the hospital won't release his body so that's an empty coffin."
_________________ "If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands.”
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 3:38 pm
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Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 12:41 pm Posts: 4013
bune wrote:
When my dad passed he first fell ill and was put in hospital for monitoring. My family - who all lived within one or two states of him - wanted me to fly out for the proceedings - I live in Washington and would have had to fly to Washington DC to get to the hospital. It was not fiscally feasible for me, especially knowing that if he did pass I really didn't want to be there to see that. I wanted to remember him as the strong one, not see him lying on his deathbed. And then they kept trying to send me pictures! Jesus Christ.
I went to the funeral the next week. Though no one told me until I was actually in the door that "oh hey, the hospital won't release his body so that's an empty coffin."
my family is well aware of my aversion to seeing dead people, let alone loved ones. i want no business of that and while i havent seen a shrink yet (considering using the companies EAP to do so) i know a lot of what im feeling now is due to being dragged to funerals and saying i have to pay my respects at the coffin.
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 3:45 pm
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Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 12:41 pm Posts: 4013
run2death wrote:
Our culture's obsession with funerals, graves, etc. is mind-boggling to me.
My stepmom must visit my dad's grave like 10 times a year and it's an hour and a half away.
I've seen it once and I'm good.
my stepfather goes every saturday morning. its only like 3 miles away so its not that big of a deal hes an old italian marine so keeping up with traditions is kind of in his dna
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 3:56 pm
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Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 6:03 pm Posts: 4354 Location: Washington State
Driving around rural Oregon last week we saw a lot of graveyards fully decorated for the 4th. Like, a graveyard the size of a city block (so not that large) had seven full-size American flags surrounding it's perimeter and also had little flags on each grave. I couldn't help thinking that it's fetishized in a way.
_________________ "If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands.”
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 5:48 pm
likes rhythmic things that butt up against each other
Joined: Fri March 31, 2017 7:05 pm Posts: 642 Location: In The Crevasse
Hey all, sorry I dipped out a couple of months ago. I've been struggling with my own depression and have been in a weird place with some things. Thankfully, I'm coming out of it and am making some appropriate changes.
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 6:10 pm
Posting (live)
Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 3:45 pm Posts: 19900 Location: the beach
TremorJam wrote:
Hey all, sorry I dipped out a couple of months ago. I've been struggling with my own depression and have been in a weird place with some things. Thankfully, I'm coming out of it and am making some appropriate changes.
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 6:34 pm
likes rhythmic things that butt up against each other
Joined: Fri March 31, 2017 7:05 pm Posts: 642 Location: In The Crevasse
doug rr wrote:
TremorJam wrote:
Hey all, sorry I dipped out a couple of months ago. I've been struggling with my own depression and have been in a weird place with some things. Thankfully, I'm coming out of it and am making some appropriate changes.
reach out to lenny about your progress
It can get better Lenny. Weed helps, finding distractions like television, books, music helps. I still need to find a decent therapist and good doctors, but am getting involved with NORML, so that's something.
Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
Posted: Tue July 11, 2017 7:51 pm
The Master
Joined: Wed January 02, 2013 3:21 pm Posts: 45144
TremorJam wrote:
doug rr wrote:
TremorJam wrote:
Hey all, sorry I dipped out a couple of months ago. I've been struggling with my own depression and have been in a weird place with some things. Thankfully, I'm coming out of it and am making some appropriate changes.
reach out to lenny about your progress
It can get better Lenny. Weed helps, finding distractions like television, books, music helps. I still need to find a decent therapist and good doctors, but am getting involved with NORML, so that's something.
welcome back, tremorjam
_________________
Dev wrote:
just cuz im clinically depressed doesn't mean im not a total gangster.
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