what if your wife was to receive a lifetime achievement award for having world class relationships, and the award ceremony was to be held in the Barclays Center and televised on TV; and only her high school boyfriend and her boyfriend of the last year were invited to be honored alongside her; to talk about how great of relationship-makers they all are.

How would you feel then?

People are writing news articles about how great of a relationship haver your wife is; it's announced months in advance so there are tons of nights in the runup to the event where your wife's relationship-making skills and other mates are lauded by the press. Her high school boyfriend is featured, her latest fling is featured.

And you might feel compelled to make a facebook post or two while stewing alone night after night in forgottenland. Hey, remember me? I contributed to your great relationships. I was over this, but now you are going well out of your way to celebrate your relationship-makingness. I should be honored too!

Then it becomes apparent over time that you won't be honored. You are just some contract-worker 1099 drip and not a W-2 relationshipee. Then someone in the press catches hold of a surly / sour RM post or two from Mr. Ruddo. A few fans of Ruddo on RM reply back defending the guy, and asking for an online petition to honor Ruddo's relationshipness.

And then a bunch of hipster twinks from a different messageboard start bashing you for still giving a shit.

How would you feel then?

You would be the Dave A of your wife's great relationshipness, that's how

Lol. That was fantastic

Please have sex with me 9684738UP

But what if your wife was celebrating 25+ years of relationships and you were only there for about 3 and she never really liked you in the first place?

stop comparing apples to apples.

Exactly.

Dave A is the guy whose best years were in high school, still talks about them, and is still pissed at Jenny for breaking up with him before prom.

Glory Days, they'll pass you by...



I bet Ed got mad about Dave rockin' the "Flavor Saver"..



He looks like he's getting ready to backhand him in this pic.

Ruddo was more than a high school prom date. Dave K and Matt Chamberlain were high school prom dates. Ruddo was the first marriage. It was 3 hot n heavy years, it was the three most important years of Ruddo's wife's relationship-making career. Ruddo is what put Ruddo's wife's relationships on the map. Without Ruddo, the subsequent 20-something don't matter. Ruddo's verility, masculinity, and raw sexual energy are what made Ruddo's wife's relationship-making career matter. Not the gold-bond medicated powder years that followed.

you'd probably still feel pissed for being excluded because you fuck better than them

whut

goddammit Dave A can't even do a 2 second scene correctly

Or maybe he's just always been too cool for those other dopes

i'm gonna go out on a limb and say no

Mike's not acting in that gif. He just realized he shit his pants.