Do you respect the host stand's system or do you try and ask for favors like being seated in a different section?
Do you engage with your server? When the specials are read, do you listen to them?
Are you chatty with the server?
Do you "help" to unload the tray when a server gets to your table with food? Do you try to clean up your own mess if you spill on the floor etc?
Do you make a lot of substitutions or ask the chef to do you some favors like extra this or cooked this way instead of that?
Do you ever order from someone who is not your server? Do you tip? What do you consider a good tip?
Do you stack your plates between courses and/or before you get up?
How often do you like to wait before ordering?
Do you like to split the check?

1. ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT! Fuck people who ask to be sat in different sections.
2. I don't like to be rude, but no, I'm not especially chatty. Depends a bit on the situation.
3. I don't help the server unload, no, but I do stack plates and organize for clearing. I do clean up my own messes.
4. I never ask for substitutions. Sometimes I'll ask if I can pay for extra whatever... usually a sauce on the side or something.
5. I don't order from anyone other than my server. I always tip. 20% is a given. Even the worst service gets at least 20% from me. Beyond that it's a bit circumstantial. Post-pandemic as things are still returning to normal, I think a baseline of 25% is a given. I tend to tip around 35% for standard service, more if there's anything above and beyond.
6. Yes.
7. My personal preference is have one person pay and then have others repay that person via venmo or paypal or whathaveyou. But I'm not opposed to split checks. It depends a bit on what the other guests prefer. I know restaurants prefer single checks. But I also know that some exaggerate their inability to do it and I understand that.

i always like to chat with waiter/waitress..i listen to specials although probably have never ordered one..i never put linen napkins on my dirty plate because i find that rude..napkins are fine..i tip more than i should..hate splitting checks

Do you respect the host stand's system or do you try and ask for favors like being seated in a different section?
Historical system roller, but dining with a toddler has made me more conscious of how she might impact others.

Do you engage with your server? When the specials are read, do you listen to them?
I engage with genuine enthusiasm and gratitude for their job, but I don't ask them their life story or anything.

Are you chatty with the server?
See above.

Do you "help" to unload the tray when a server gets to your table with food? Do you try to clean up your own mess if you spill on the floor etc?
I'll help if it looks like a challenge. Yes we clean our own stuff up.

Do you make a lot of substitutions or ask the chef to do you some favors like extra this or cooked this way instead of that?
Virtually never in my life, but my MiL does it every single time, and my wife is not quite as bad but still somewhat a pain in this regard.

Do you ever order from someone who is not your server? Do you tip? What do you consider a good tip?
Will flag someone down if something was forgotten about, i.e. "Sorry to bother you, we had ordered another glass of milk for my daughter and it hasn't come out yet, could you please check on that?" But only if the wait has been excessive (10+ minutes). 20% tip is the bare minimum. More like 30-40% for small counter service items post-covid (coffee, pastry), 20-25% for table service.

Do you stack your plates between courses and/or before you get up?
No, my experience is that's actually less helpful.

How often do you like to wait before ordering?
If my kid's with me, we try to get that shit in ASAP. No kid, we have all the time in the world.

Do you like to split the check?
If you're asking do I enjoy the process of check-splitting, no I fucking hate it. But if the choice has been made to split the check, I typically offer to take 50% (or whatever our party's equal portion of the bill is), regardless of the volume of food ordered by the other parties. Worth noting that we are rarely the larger ticket items on the check, primarily because we're not drinkers.

Never. Those people are assholes.
I like to think I’m polite and treat them with respect; yes I do
Not generally chatty, no.
I don’t unload a tray. I do clean up my messes. I can’t stand to leave crumbs and shit where I’ve been sitting
Only if it comes with mayonnaise or tomato
I have when the server is really busy and someone comes to take the order. I’m probably not the best tipper, usually between 15-20%.
Yes, plates are stacked if they haven’t been cleared
We wait until everyone knows what they want
Yes. Splitting the check is fine.

Napkin goes on the chair.

Re: the first question---If I've been to this restaurant before I likely have a preference for where I'd like to be seated. I know this door is especially drafty, or that this kitchen is way noisier than other kitchens so I don't like the room near it, or that the chairs at certain tables are an awkward fit for someone my height, or that the people at this bar are especially prone to random USA USA USA shouts, or whatever. Maybe I just like the view from the east side of the dining room or I'm in kind of a paranoid mood so I want to sit near the window and spend the meal staring at my car.

Is it so wrong to ask to sit in a specific area?

If the restaurant is half full, especially while having a small child along, I don’t see the problem asking to be seated in a couch or by the window, or whatever makes sense. If it’s full with a line of people waiting, then obviously not, you take what you get.

Sure, yeah, if the place is full, totally. But otherwise?

Do you engage with your server? When the specials are read, do you listen to them?
Not that normal for the server to read stuff out loud here, but I’ll engage with them. Brings a smile out.

Are you chatty with the server?
Not overly so, a pleasant amount.

Do you "help" to unload the tray when a server gets to your table with food? Do you try to clean up your own mess if you spill on the floor etc?
Hand them the plates that are done, if it’s natural/possible/logical. Clean a little, if it’s messy.

Do you make a lot of substitutions or ask the chef to do you some favors like extra this or cooked this way instead of that?
Just about never.

Do you ever order from someone who is not your server? Do you tip? What do you consider a good tip?
Server wages are much better here than in the US, many don’t tip much. I’ll tip between 5% and 10%. When abroad, I will tip what is normal there. I try to stick with our server, but have asked other servers aswell, let’s say we want more to drink, and our server is gone for several minutes.

Do you stack your plates between courses and/or before you get up?
Depends, probably not at the end, but between courses it’s quite possible.

How often do you like to wait before ordering?
Just a few minutes.

Do you like to split the check?
If it’s with my family, I usually pay. If it’s with friends, we usually pay our part separately. Sometimes, if there’s a group of people that have spent close to the same amount, we can split the check.

There are several places where I won’t be invited back, if that answers any of your questions.

Welcomed back?

I do my very best to not be a Bammer when dining out.

all I know is I hate when the staff clears plates from the table when someone is still eating.

There are competing views on this within the industry. Is it worse to leave a messy plate on the table, or to make those unfinished diners feel like there’s a rush?

The problem move is to clear the plate and just acknowledge there’s no rush.

If you have to clarify that there's no rush you've already fucked up

I like it when they take the plate away, even if others are still eating. Certainly you don't want to get the feeling that they are just waiting for you to leave, but it takes more than that, to give me that feeling.

Same thing omg you are such a dork

Proper move?

Pro move