This place asked me to take some pictures for free beer.

I declined.

My integrity isn't worth a couple of beers.

Why would that compromise your integrity?

If I taste it and it's shit, I sure as fuck won't promote it by allowing my picture to be used for its marketing.

Flacks are the worst people on Earth.

"Marketing" is the reason why humanity isn't worth saving.

If you market your creative endeavor to an "audience", you are the definition of human garbage.

By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing…kill yourself. It’s just a little thought; I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can.

Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really. There’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers. Okay – kill yourself.

Seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good.

Seriously.

No this is not a joke. You’re [going], “There’s going to be a joke coming.” There’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself

Planting seeds.

I know all the marketing people are going, “He’s doing a joke…” There’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend – I don’t care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations. (Machi…) Whatever, you know what I mean.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too: “Oh, you know what Bill’s doing? He’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market. He’s very smart.”

Oh man, I am not doing that, you fucking, evil scumbags!

“Ooh, you know what Bill’s doing now? He’s going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research – huge market. He’s doing a good thing.”

Godammit, I’m not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a goddamn dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet.

“Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market. Bill’s very bright to do that.”

God, I’m just caught in a fucking web.

“Ooh, the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market – look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar…”

How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?

“What didya do today, honey?”

“Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight.” [snores] “Yeah we just said, you know, is your baby really too loud? You know?” [snores] “Yeah, you know the mums will love it.” [snores]

Sleep like fucking children, don’t ya. This is your world, isn’t it?

Is that an excerpt from that new Chuck Palahniuk novel?

Going to San Diego for a conference in late October.

It's a week long, but on three of the days my sessions end at noon.

Already plotting out my brewery visits.

I've been holding on to this bottle of Cherries of Fire from Karbach since 2013. It's time. Imperial Porter aged in bourbon barrel with luxardo cherries. The stormy weather is just right for it.

Oxidation got me like

That’s a bummer, man. I hoped better for ya.

I have a lot of old stuff in my cellar that I’m a bit worried about. Many are 3-5 years old and some go back as much as 8-10 years. I grew a collection larger than I could consume and I just haven’t kept up. I plan to spend the next 6 months of Minnesota winter drinking a lot of these to find out where I stand.

The arrival of fall has brought dark beers upon us.

gross

I like your beer room setup, PHATJ. Can I mail you a more stylish bottle opener though?

Of course he chews tobacco

you keep beer cans on your mantel?

You guys are being real internet jerks to PHATJ

how? I just asked a question. Not sure if those were beers being aged or what