Homer to the Max

The Simpson family looks through new mid-season TV shows, and realize they are all pretty lousy. They settle on the pilot episode of Police Cops, a show which follows a suave and dashing detective named Homer Simpson and his partner Lance Kaufman. Homer is delighted with the positive attention he receives because he shares the dashing, intelligent character's name. Despite the family telling him it is just a coincidence, Homer begins to receive congratulatory phone calls. He begins imitating the character, adopting his distinctive scarf and catchphrase, "...and that's the end of that chapter."

Unfortunately, by the second episode of Police Cops, the Homer Simpson character has been rewritten from a handsome man into a stupid, fat, and lazy detective who uses a now ridiculous catchphrase "Uh-oh, Spaghetti-Os!" when he makes a mistake, which results in Homer being mocked by his friends. Humiliated at being laughed at and being the subject of negative attention, Homer appeals to the producers to change the character back, demanding to know why they changed the character into a bumbling oaf. The producers refuse to either explain their reasons or change the character back. Then, after unsuccessfully attempting to sue the company for improper usage of his old name, Homer legally changes his name to "Max Power" (a name he got off of a hair dryer).

Max seems to be more well-adjusted with his new name as all the negative attention had faded away for good, but Marge is somewhat unhappy that he changed his name without consulting her, saying that she fell in love with "Homer Simpson", though she understands that his new name is opening new doors to success for him. At work, Mr. Burns is impressed by the new name and compliments Max, who decides to shop at Costington's in order to further improve his image. There, he meets a successful businessman named Trent Steel and, after a chat, they go out to lunch.

Trent invites Max and the family to a garden party. Despite Marge's reservations, the couple attend the party, where they meet lots of famous people, including actor Woody Harrelson, then-U.S. President Bill Clinton, TV producer Lorne Michaels, and actor Ed Begley, Jr.. Max finds out that the garden party is nothing more than an excuse to save a redwood forest from destruction, something which Max does not like. After traveling with the party guests to the forest, Max, Marge, and the rest of the guests chain themselves to the trees in order to prevent the bulldozers from knocking them down. Chief Wiggum arrives and decides to get rough with the protesters. Eddie and Lou start chasing Max around his tree, trying to "swab" him with mace. However, as Max runs round and round the tree, the chain begins cutting into the tree. The huge redwood falls, knocking down all the other redwoods in a large domino-like chain reaction, angering their newfound friends.

That night at home, Marge is happy that Max has changed his name back to "Homer Simpson". Homer, however, informs Marge that while he was at the courthouse, he took the opportunity to change her name to "Chesty La Rue", along with the alternative names "Busty St. Clair" and "Hootie McBoob".

Blood Feud

Mr. Burns falls ill with hypohemia (a fictional condition in which the body naturally runs out of blood, though it is akin to a real condition called hypovolemia) and needs a blood transfusion. His blood type, double O negative, is very rare, however, and none of the employees at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant have it. Homer discovers that Bart has double O negative blood and urges his son to donate, promising that he will be handsomely rewarded. Bart reluctantly agrees and his blood donation saves Mr. Burns' life. Burns is rejuvenated by the blood and he sends the Simpson family a thank you card. Enraged at Burns' paltry gesture, Homer writes an insulting reply, but Marge convinces him at the last minute not to send it. The next morning, Homer discovers that the letter is gone as Bart has mailed it.

Bart explains that he knew Homer would probably change his mind, and decided to send the letter before that could happen. Homer desperately tries to prevent the letter from reaching Burns, but fails. Mr. Burns becomes furious and demands that Homer be beaten. However, Mr. Smithers calls off the beating on the grounds that that is no way to thank the man who saved Mr. Burns's life. Smithers convinces Burns to instead reward the Simpson family. The Simpsons receive an antique Xtapolapocetl, an Olmec head (a massive, Tiki-god-like affair) that Bart, the blood donor, likes, and which Homer hates.

At the end, as the family stare at the head, the Simpsons debate on what the moral of this whole story is. It cannot be 'A good deed is its own reward' as Bart got a reward he likes, but at the same time it is not 'No good deed goes unrewarded' as they never would have received anything if Homer had not written the angry letter. Homer decides that there is not a lesson to be learned from this, as it's "just a bunch of stuff that happened".

Homer to the Max - again for Police cops. The head of Xtapolapocetl is a fantastic finish, though

Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.

This sealed my vote.

'Twas a smart move on Chud's part.