Homer the Vigilante

A number of burglaries by a cat burglar take place in Springfield, even striking the Simpsons' house. Among the stolen items include Lisa's saxophone, Marge's pearl necklace, Bart's stamp collection, and the handheld television. In response, the residents of Springfield arm themselves and install security devices. A neighborhood watch group is formed, and the members elect Homer as their leader. The group patrols the streets, but its members only end up violating laws further than catching criminals, turning into vigilantes. When Homer is interviewed on news anchor Kent Brockman's Smartline, the cat burglar calls the show and informs Homer that he will steal the world's largest cubic zirconia from the Springfield museum.

Homer and his group begin guarding the museum. Grampa and his friends from the retirement home volunteer to help, but Homer tells them to leave because they are too old. A few minutes later, Homer sees a group of teenagers drinking beer. He leaves his post to intervene and catch them, but immediately ends up getting drunk with them instead. While Homer's guard is down, the cat burglar sneaks past and steals the zirconia. Homer is blamed and pelted with vegetables by the unforgiving townspeople. Later that day, Grampa stops by the Simpsons' house and tells everybody that he knows who the cat burglar is: a resident in the local retirement home named Molloy.

Homer captures Molloy at the retirement home, and the surprisingly amiable cat burglar returns the objects he stole. Chief Wiggum arrests him and he is imprisoned. While in his cell at the police station, Molloy casually mentions that he assumes Homer and the cops probably want to know where he hid all of his loot. This piques their interest, and Molloy tells them the stash is hidden under a giant "T" somewhere in Springfield. They all rush out of the station hoping to get the treasure for themselves. In a matter of minutes the entire town hears of the existence of Molloy's stash and almost everybody in Springfield is racing to get there first. After the residents get to the site and dig, they finally discover a box with a note inside. The note tells them that there is no treasure and that while they have been searching, Molloy has escaped from his cell. However, several citizens continue to dig, convinced that a real treasure must be buried deeper.

Treehouse of Horror V

Opening

Marge warns that the episode is frightening and should not be viewed by children. During the warning, she is informed that it is so scary that Congress will not let them view the episode. However, Bart interrupts the warning with a radio transmission and the episode begins.

The Shinning

In a parody of The Shining, The Simpsons are employed as caretakers at Mr. Burns' mansion. Burns cuts the cable television wire and steals the beer, thinking this will ensure hard work from the family. While there, Groundskeeper Willie discovers that Bart has the power to read his thoughts and that if Homer goes insane, he should use this to call him. The deprivation of his two favorite things causes Homer to go insane and a ghostly Moe informs Homer he must kill his family in order to get a beer. Marge discovers that Homer has covered the walls with the repetitive phrasing "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy", and confronts Homer with a baseball bat, but Homer, after seeing his reflection in a mirror, trips and falls unconscious. Marge locks him in the pantry until he has calmed down and makes some chili for dinner. Later on, Homer has calmed down and happily eats, but Moe reminds him of their deal through the pantry door. When he refuses to comply, Moe shows up with his gang of ghouls and carries Homer out much to his dismay. While Marge and the children are enjoying dinner, Homer begins pursuing the family with an axe and Bart uses his powers to call Willie, who immediately runs to the family's rescue, abandoning his portable television in the snow in the process. Homer kills him by striking him in the back with the axe. Homer pursues his family outside but as he is about to kill them, Lisa discovers Willie's abandoned television. Homer's insanity gradually decreases and the family freezes in the snow as they are watching. With the family unable to change the channel when the Tony Awards begin, Homer's insanity resurfaces.

Time and Punishment

In a parody of A Sound of Thunder, while attempting to fix a broken toaster, Homer accidentally turns it into a time machine. It transports him to prehistoric times where he realizes he must be careful because if he affects anything in the past, it could change the future. After swatting a mosquito, he returns to the present to find a dystopia where Ned Flanders is a dictator of the world. Homer travels back in time again attempting to set things right; however, he accidentally kills a walking fish, and after returning to the present he finds Bart and Lisa are giants, narrowly avoiding being crushed by them. He then sneezes and infects the dinosaurs with a cold virus while defending himself from a Tyrannosaurus Rex, which proceeds to cause their extinction. He is initially pleased with the results in the present; amongst other perks, the family is now extremely wealthy and Patty and Selma have died, but is horrified upon discovering that donuts do not exist in this timeline and flees, only seconds before donuts begin raining from the sky. In another world, Willie attempts to help Homer, but is again struck in the back with an axe, this time by a James Earl Jones-voiced Maggie. When Homer returns to the prehistoric times again, he furiously smashes everything in sight with a baseball bat. After several more trips back and forth in time, Homer eventually arrives in a reality that appears normal; he finds humans eating with lizard-like tongues, but finally decides that it is "close enough".

Nightmare Cafeteria

In a parody of Soylent Green, Principal Skinner is concerned that the detention hall is becoming overcrowded and as a result of the latest budget cut, Lunchlady Doris has been reduced to serving "Grade F" meat in the cafeteria. Skinner discovers a common solution: eating misbehaving children. Jimbo Jones is the first student to be killed, who is served as "Sloppy Jimbo", followed by Üter, who is then served as "Üterbraten". Bart and Lisa finally discover what Principal Skinner and Lunchlady Doris are doing, but one by one, the kids are "sent to detention" where they are caged and butchered. The kids turn to Marge, who tells them that they must stand up for themselves. Eventually Bart, Lisa, and Milhouse are among the only students remaining and attempt to escape. Skinner and Doris corner them on a ledge above a giant blender. Willie attempts to help the students escape, but is once again struck in the back with an axe, this time by Skinner. Milhouse, Bart, and Lisa fall to their demise.

Bart wakes up from the nightmare to find his family beside his bed. Marge assures him he has nothing to be afraid of, but a green fog seeps in through the window and the Simpsons are turned inside out. They, along with Willie, perform a musical number over the end credits, but Bart is dragged away by Santa's Little Helper.

Homer the Vigilante, but this hurts

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Voted now!

TOH V is great, especially the first and third sketches. I was legitimately scared of Nightmare Cafeteria when I was a kid. And then there's this exchange:

"You've got the shinning!"
"Don't you mean 'shining'?"
"Shhh...you want to get sued?"

Come, family...Let's all sit in television's warm glowing warming glow.