Duffless

Bart has a dream that he is at the school science fair presenting a Go-Go Ray. He zaps all the teachers, resulting in their dancing uncontrollably. Principal Skinner declares him the winner, but Bart wakes up realizing it was Lisa messing with him.

At breakfast, Lisa shows the family her science fair project, a steroid-enhanced tomato that she hopes will cure world hunger. Bart's project is to study the effects of cigarette smoking on dogs; his "volunteer" is Santa's Little Helper.

At the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Homer ducks out of work early and accompanies Barney on a tour of the Duff brewery. After the tour, Homer refuses to let the exceptionally drunk Barney drive home and forces him to hand over his keys. On their way out of the parking lot, their car is pulled over by Police Chief Wiggum, along with Eddie and Lou. They administer a breathalyzer test to Homer, which he fails. He is arrested, his license is revoked, and he must attend traffic school and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

At school, three days before the science fair, Lisa leaves her super tomato under Bart's care for a moment and he takes the opportunity to hurl it at Skinner while he is bent over tying his shoe. When Lisa sees what Bart has done with her project, she is furious. Lisa appeals to Marge for help, who suggests she run a hamster through a maze. Lisa takes the idea to heart, but instead of just testing the intelligence of a rodent, she pits a hamster against an unknowing Bart to find out who is smarter. After two simple tests, the hamster leads two to zero.

In bed, Marge gives Homer a magazine quiz about his drinking. Hearing his answers, she asks him to give up beer for a month, to which he agrees. Homer tries not to think about beer while he rides Lisa's bike to work. After a series of severe temptations, Homer crashes the bike as hundreds of bottles of Duff parachuted down on him from a blimp.

Bart later discovers Lisa's plans to humiliate him at the science fair and ruins them with a project of his own, "Can hamsters fly planes?". Lisa tries to reason that his project has no scientific merit, but everyone ignores her. A cute hamster sitting in the cockpit of a miniature plane wins over Skinner and he hands Bart the winning ribbon, much to Lisa's dismay.

At Homer's Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, he is kicked out by Reverend Lovejoy after confessing that his desperation for the taste of beer led him to "sneak into the football stadium and eat the dirt underneath the bleachers". But he exhibits more positive changes such as losing weight, saving over $100 and no longer sweating while he eats. After thirty days of sobriety, Homer rushes back to Moe's, despite Marge asking him to stay home. However, after seeing how alcohol has ruined the lives of Barney and the other barflies, he turns around and goes home. Homer and Marge ride a bike into the sunset.

Burn's Heir

Mr. Burns almost drowns while taking a bath after Smithers puts a sponge on his head that weighs him down. Later, after realizing that no one will carry on his legacy when he dies, Burns decides to try to find an heir that will inherit his vast fortune. He holds an audition and many of the boys in Springfield try out, including Nelson Muntz, Martin Prince, and Milhouse Van Houten. Bart and Lisa also try out and fail; Lisa because she is a girl, and Bart because he read Homer's badly-worded proposal. Angry and humiliated after the audition ends, only made worse by Burns kicking him in the butt with a mechanical boot, Bart pays him back by vandalizing his mansion. Mr. Burns approves of Bart's malevolence and decides to accept him as his heir.

Homer and Marge sign a legal document which officially names Bart as Mr. Burns' heir. Marge suggests that Bart should spend some time with Mr. Burns. While initially repelled by Mr. Burns' coldness, Bart begins to take a liking to him after Burns promises to give Bart whatever he wants out of his life. Bart decides to abandon his family because Mr. Burns allows him to do anything he likes. Bart's family becomes angry and wants him back, so they decide to sue Mr. Burns, but due to hiring Lionel Hutz as their lawyer, the court ends up deciding that Mr Burns is Bart's biological father. The Simpsons get a Private Investigator deprogrammer to kidnap Bart, but the deprogrammer wrongly takes Hans Moleman instead and brainwashes him into thinking he's a part of the Simpson family.

Meanwhile, Bart becomes lonely and wants to go back to his family. Mr. Burns does not want him to leave and tricks him into thinking that his family hates him, using a falsified video with actors playing the Simpson family. Bart decides that Burns is his true father and the two celebrate by firing employees at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant by ejecting them through a trap door. However, one of the employees is Homer and Mr. Burns then tries to break Bart's ties with his family by forcing him to fire Homer. Bart instead "fires" Burns and drops him through a trap door. Bart decides that he loves his family, and moves back in with them.

"Ooooh...he card reads good."

Both terrific eps, but Burn's Heir is a notch above.

Burns heir