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Mountain of Madness

Mr. Burns decides to hold a good old-fashioned fire drill in order to excite things up around the plant. Upon hearing the bells ring, the employees panic and fail to clear the plant within 15 minutes. Outraged, Burns declares that everyone will be subjected to a teamwork competition at Mt. Useful. Homer brings his family to the mountain, not realizing it was only for employees, so he leaves them in the visitor center. Homer ends up being partnered with Burns while Smithers has to journey on his own, fuming that he was not paired with his boss. The object of this competition is to reach a cabin at the top of the mountain; the last team to arrive will be fired.

Along the way, Burns talks Homer into cheating and they use a snowmobile (which Burns refers to as a "horseless sleigh") to reach the cabin. Arriving several hours early, they settle down in the comfortable surroundings. Burns and Homer quickly become friends. However, while clinking their champagne glasses, they inadvertently cause an avalanche that buries the entire cabin. Despite Burns's attempt to operate a telegraph machine or Homer's attempt to dig a tunnel through the snow, they remain trapped. The pair attempt further tunneling escapes, but each time they speak, they cause more avalanches that place even more snow between them and freedom. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa meet Smithers and offer to help him proceed to the cabin, though they cause more stalling than helping.

Back in the cabin, Burns and Homer are beset by cabin fever. They build snowmen to pass the time (though Burns insists they build real men out of snow) and clothe them at the expense of their own warmth. The other employees reach what appears to be their destination; however, it is actually a ranger station and they begin to realize that something bad has happened to their colleagues. In the cabin, Homer and Burns stare at each other's eyes, filling their minds with paranoia. They are both driven mad and attempt to kill each other. After a vicious struggle, Burns ignites the cabin's propane tank, launching the building out of the snow and propelling it toward the horrified onlookers. Once it comes to a halt, Mr. Burns reminds everyone of the contest, and all the workers hurry inside.

Lenny is the last person in the cabin, and is told he is fired. Burns is informed the completion time of the competition has set a new record, and then decides that no one will be fired after all (although Lenny, who is outside and falls into a crevasse, does not know that). The episode ends with Mr. Burns and Homer alternately laughing and glaring at each other.


Bart the General

Bart gets into a fight with Nelson Muntz, the school bully, while defending Lisa and the cupcakes that she baked for Miss Hoover. Nelson beats up Bart after school and warns him to expect the same treatment the following day.

At home, Marge consoles and encourages a crying Bart to reason with Nelson. Homer takes Bart away from Marge and says, "Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi!" Marge angrily sighs at Homer. Homer then urges Bart to bend the rules and fight dirty. Taking Homer's advice, Bart is beaten up again. Bart turns to the toughest member of the Simpson family, Grampa Simpson, who introduces Bart to Herman, the crazed one-armed proprietor of an army surplus store. He instructs Bart on military tactics, then Bart declares war on Nelson and his sidekicks.

Bart enlists Nelson's other victims in his army and trains them for combat. Herman commands from Bart's treehouse as Bart leads his forces into battle. Ambushing Nelson and his sidekicks, they commence saturation bombing with water balloons. Nelson's thugs surrender, and Nelson is taken prisoner. He threatens to beat up Bart as soon as he is untied. Herman drafts the armistice treaty, which states that Nelson will retain his position and name, but will not hold any actual power. Then, Bart and Nelson sign the treaty. Then, Marge enters with cupcakes, and peace prevails.

Another tough one. I'm going with Bart the General, because that joke about keeping your arm in the bus window still gets the occasional laugh in my family. But I might change my vote, if I can find the time to watch Mountain of Madness.

oh there's so much great stuff in mountain of madness.

Mr. Burns: Neither would I. If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race always be to the swift, or the Jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well I say, "Cheating is the gift man gives himself."
Homer: Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat!


Carl: Oh, yeah, yeah. Like maybe the "cabin" is the place inside each of us created by our goodwill and teamwork.
Lenny: Oh. Nah, they said there'd be sandwiches.

Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.
Mr. Burns: Oh, yes. But I'd trade it all for a little more.

Mr. Burns: We have several hours before the others arrive, let's say we get comfy. (turns on the fuse box) Now we have electricity. (turns on the gas) This propane tank will supply us with heat. And this doorknob, properly turned, will allow us access to the cabin.
Homer: No going through the window for us!

Bart: Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I say, "Who doesn't enjoy a good sit?" all the time. I also love, "I found another hurt shrew!"

Mountain of Madness is one of the most quotable episodes ever.

"Kids, your dad's gonna be just fine!"

Let's take a moment to humor the children.

This episode really does have a ton of great quotes.

"Why do we always fight on vacation?"

Mountain of Madness is top-tier.