Saturdays of Thunder

Homer takes a fatherhood quiz and discovers he knows next to nothing about his son. He signs up for therapy at the National Fatherhood Institute and after a confidence-building pep talk, offers to help Bart build his own soapbox racer, which they dub "Li'l Lightnin'", for the upcoming Soap Box Derby. Bart is reluctant to want his father to help him, concerned that he may cost him the race. However, Homer refuses to hear any of it, insisting to help him out. At the qualifying race Bart and Martin, who has built a high tech, aerodynamically superior racer, form an alliance vowing that either must somehow beat bully Nelson and his very intimidating racer, the "Roadkill 2000", "armed with every dirty trick in the book." As the race starts, Bart can barely reach any kind of noticeable speed with Li'l Lightnin' and the car falls apart before reaching the finish line.

Martin's car wins the race. but was built too aerodynamically precise and the steepness of the hill causes it to careen past the finish line and crashes. Martin suffers a fractured arm in the accident and thus cannot race against Nelson, who finished second. Martin offers Bart the seat, and even though Bart believes Homer will be devastated if he abandons the racer they built, he accepts the offer as there is no other way he can race and win.

As Bart feared, Homer is bitterly disappointed over his decision. Homer is so upset that he even refuses to go to the final race to support Bart, insulting him and Martin and acting spiteful toward Bart and the rest of the family. Troy McClure starts crying too. Marge decides that she has had enough of Homer's surly attitude and confronts him, by telling Homer that she defended him when people, including her sisters Patty and Selma, called him an incompetent father. However, she states that his latest behavior proved he is being selfish and if this is how Homer wants to act on such an important day for Bart, he really is a bad father, a statement that only makes Homer feel worse. Maggie tries to cheer Bart up but he ended up calling Los Angeles.

As Bart gets ready to race in the final match with Martin's newly tuned racer, Homer thinks to himself about how wrong he has been. After retaking the fatherhood quiz again, he realizes that Bart needs his support regardless of whose racer he is using and he rushes off to the race. At the starting line, Homer wishes Bart good luck and tells him that no matter how the race ends he will still be proud of him. The race is tough as Nelson pulls every dirty trick in his arsenal, but through his skill Bart finishes first and the team enjoys their victory.


Selma's Choice

After watching an advertisement on television for Duff Gardens, Homer, Bart and Lisa decide to go. As they prepare to leave, Marge tells them that spinster Great Aunt Gladys died and they will be going to her funeral instead. The Simpsons, along with Patty and Selma, drive to Littleneck Falls to attend her funeral and the reading of her will. On the video will, Great Aunt Gladys tells Patty and Selma not to die alone, as she did. Selma hears the ticking of her biological clock, and decides she wants a child. Selma tries video dating, but gets rejected by Groundskeeper Willie. She goes to a psychic who tries to sell her a love potion. The psychic ingests it, blurts out the innocuous ingredients and discovers that she accidentally drank a truth serum. Selma dates Hans Moleman after revoking his license at the DMV. All goes well until Hans tries to kiss her goodnight; Selma envisions herself as the mother of several ugly, blind children and kicks Hans out of the car to prevent that future from happening. Lisa then suggests to Selma that she go through artificial insemination.

When the day comes for Homer to take Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens, he falls ill from food poisoning after eating a hoagie that became spoiled days after he took it home from a company picnic. In an attempt to give Selma a taste of motherhood, Marge nominates her to take the kids to Duff Gardens while she stays home to look after Homer.

When the trio arrives at Duff Gardens, Bart and Lisa wear Selma out, especially when they go on the Little Land of Duff ride and Bart dares Lisa to drink the toxic "water". Lisa is confused, but Bart mocks her until Selma intervenes, shouting at Bart to shut up and ordering Lisa to drink the water. When Lisa takes a sip, she hallucinates, grows violent and paranoid, and wanders away from the ride, tripping out to the parade music. While Selma is looking for Lisa, Bart gets on a roller coaster called The Barrel Roll and ends up having to be rescued after the car stops in the center of one of the inversions. Lisa is soon found swimming nude in the Fermentarium, returned to Selma and given pills by an unlicensed doctor.

After Bart and Lisa return home, Selma decides she can live without children for now and adopts Jub-Jub, Gladys' pet iguana.

Selma's choice, easily.

I should have rigged this so Duff Gardens could go up against Itchy and Scratchy Land.


Homer: Homercles cares not for beans!

Selma's choice. The whole bit with the hoagie, the psychedelic trip at Duff Gardens, Hans Moleman, JubJub...Its one of my favorite eps.

Also, Stip, you've got the synopses backwards on this one.

Do I, Trag? Do I?

Uh, yes. Looks that way to me anyway. Thanks for all you do, Stip.

These are two really good episodes. I'm voting for Selma's Choice to give it credit for being so memorable without many instances of homage or parody--it's simply a well-told, funny story. I love the line, "Oh, great, Dad's dead."

sandwhich, how can I stay mad at you?

Can't talk, coming down.