"Heather Graham at Whole Foods"

Spoiler: show

I can't imagine shopping at Whole Foods, let alone picking someone up there.

That one in Union Sq is like the eighth circle of hell after 5pm.

I guess not? Explain it to me

I believe this as it confirms my suspicions.

Cant believe Joe was a bro all this time. He was just one of us.

We should all start speculating on Anne Clark's bedroom proclivities.

I bet she enjoys a good Cleveland Steamer.

I bet she's really sensitive about people cumming in her hair.

She likes water sports for sure.

No asparagus!

Yes, please do. I don't understand what you are trying to say.

Im so confused and I love Whole Foods

The original thread is here, for those of you who do not remember or haven't done a search to remind yourselves: http://forums.theskyiscrape.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=7765

What a fun call back joey

Oh boy... so.. back in 2016, the initial post I was replying to was "I heard he [meaning Chris Martin] was into eighth graders." I assumed this was a joke post. I don't know anything about Chris Martin. Maybe I'm wrong. But back in 2016, I thought this was a joke. So I replied "I heard she's [meaning Heather Graham; the thread title was about Chris having been seen with Heather] terrible in bed." Do you see the form? It's the same:

"I heard he's into eighth graders."
"I heard she's terrible in bed."

It's a classic joke format/response. It was meant to be a humorous response to what I interpreted as a humorous post.

Okay? With me so far?

Now, it is absolutely 100% true that I do have a friend (his name is Mark) who CLAIMS to have met Heather Graham at Whole Foods and that that encounter led to an "adult" evening with her (he says he slept with her). I can not confirm nor deny whether or not this event ever took place. BUT given our friendship and the other things I know about him (like the fact that he has had intimate relationships with other stars --- I can't confirm the sexual part, so maybe he's a giant liar, but I do know for a fact that he is friends/close with these women, I can 100% confirm that, and I don't think there's any reason for him to lie about any of it thought I fully admit that it's possible) I believe that he did at least meet and strike up a conversation with Heather Graham. I don't know if he actually slept with her. But I can totally see a world in which this is true. It's not only possible, but, I think, likely. But whether or not he did is irrelevant to the original post in that thread from two and a half years ago.

Go back and read the thread.

I thought Mecca was picking up on the joke: that she's a "dead fish" on screen and therefore was in bed as well. My follow-up comment about her being limp, unresponsive, etc was meant to be (and I thought taken as) humor. How would I know? I've never met the woman! I thought we were all on the same page, that it was a way of talking about her acting ability (or vast lack thereof) but in the context of my friend's experience with her in bed.

To be clear, that's exactly how my friend related the story to me. He DID say that he felt like she wasn't into it. He DID say that she felt unresponsive. He said he asked her multiple times if "this is working for you; what do you need" etc and she replied "it's good, it's good" but he felt like she was unresponsive. So, that, again, is true in terms of what I was told. But what I was told has little barring on what I thought was the joke at play in the thread. I thought we were all clear that my post was a way of talking about her terrible acting in a different context. I think that seems clear from page one of that thread.

So, he did say he slept with her. He did say it wasn't great. But the implication in the context of my conversation with Mark --- ie: when he said she was limp and unresponsive -- he was making a joke/parallel to her acting style, which is what we'd been talking about at the time. Ruddo seems to have picked up on this and I genuinely thought that most of RM did as well. Basically, he was making fun of himself and also trying to talk about how much I hate Heather Graham's acting. Does that make sense?

The reason I ignored Asher in the original thread was because he was out to get me at that time and doing his best Dev impression to get under my skin. This was back when Dev was SUPER trolly and wanted to take me down. Asher joined forces with him and had even sent me multiple PM's trying to attack me. It was all stupid, attacky shtick. I was "a good guy" and they were "rogues" and Dev was pissed at Argo and he felt he needed to prove something to Dev for some goddamn reason. So I didn't dignify it then. And I wouldn't have now except he's brought it back up 2 and a half years later for some stupid reason that doesn't make any sense to me and based on Jorge's post, it wasn't clear what my initial intent was.

So here's the explanation: My friend Mark claims he did sleep with Heather. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Either way, he said it wasn't great. I don't care. This could have been his fault. He might be bad in bed. I don't know. All I have to go on is what he told me. However, in the context of the telling, Mark and I made jokes back and forth about WHY she was bad and he paralleled them AS A JOKE to what I dislike about her acting.

Then I posted the comment which to me was an obvious joke response to an obvious joke post. Then I furthered the joke here because I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE.

I didn't do more to explain or defend myself in the past or in the last couple of days because this board has some weird occupation with people "back peddling" or "explaining away" posts or "apologizing" or "acting like they were kidding when they weren't" and it grosses everyone out. So I felt fucking stuck in this weird place where I couldn't explain myself because no one would be believe me, or they'd attack me for doing so, and I couldn't reply because it just added fuel to the fire of people who wanted to shit all over me because they viewed me as some sort of obstacle to their bullshit trolly agenda. You feel me?

Let me know if you have further questions or if I need to further clarify anything. I'm SHOCKED that this post needed to happen. But apparently it did. You're fucking welcome RM

tl;dr: FUCK YOU AND READ THE WHOLE THING, ARGONAUT

Thanks friend. I'm glad you appreciated it. I feel like you were one of only three RMers who might.

Hopefully people will let it go now.

that was a veryyy long post joe..i cant read all of it.

No innocent person would write a post that long.

That would be great. But, somehow, I really doubt it.

See, Anders.