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i missed something, what did the durdencommatyler account do?
I chronicalled all in the Admit Something thread in GD. The short version is that I lost my shit on this poor innocent delivery guy and behaved like a giant asshole and I feel awful about it. It was super gross.
Post subject: Re: Rewrite an Iconic Movie Scene Starring an RMer
Posted: Mon May 21, 2018 8:43 pm
NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK
Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 3:35 pm Posts: 32281 Location: Buenos Aires
Just then, DURDENCOMMATYLER ARRIVES ON A SMALL MOTORBIKE. Getting off, he looks around the city.
DURDENCOMMATYLER So, this all seems horrible.
BLACK WIDOW I've seen worse.
DURDENCOMMATYLER Sorry.
BLACK WIDOW No. We could use a little worse.
CAPTAIN AMERICA Stark? We got him.
IRON MAN (V.O.) Durdencommatyler?
CAPTAIN AMERICA Just like you said.
INSIDE THE SUIT
TONY Then tell him to suit up. I'm bringing the party to you.
IRON MAN comes out from behind a building. The FOREIGN DELIVERY MAN follows, impatiently.
EXT. BRIDGE STREET DAY
The rest of the AVENGERS look up, getting ready and standing still.
BLACK WIDOW I... I don't see how that's a party...
IRON MAN swoops down the street. The FOREIGN DELIVERY MAN also swoops down, BARRELING down the street like a FREIGHT TRAIN that keeps building and building its intensity.DURDENCOMMATYLER looks behind. Cap looks at him. DURDENCOMMATYLER begins to walk towards the monster.
CAPTAIN AMERICA Dr. Durdencommatyler. Now might be a really good time for you to get angry.
DURDENCOMMATYLER That's my secret, Captain. I'm always angry.
DURDENCOMMATYLER's body starts to swell and stretch and harden. As the FOREIGN DELIVERY MAN rushes towards him, DURDENCOMMATYLER turns towards him and delivers a hellish roar.
Post subject: Re: Rewrite an Iconic Movie Scene Starring an RMer
Posted: Mon May 21, 2018 8:52 pm
Production Police
Joined: Tue September 24, 2013 5:56 pm Posts: 47141 Location: In the oatmeal aisle wearing a Shellac shirt
I already feel like Joe's going to be upset, so I'll share a similar meltdown story that still shames me to this day:
A few years ago, I had gotten a streak of telemarketing calls from a particular number. After getting one during dinner, at the end of a particularly stressful day, I called the number back. To my surprise, it rang, and I got an answering machine. I said something like "Hi, this is [my name] and you have been calling me repeatedly despite my having my number on the national Do Not Call Registry. FUCK YOU. I HOPE YOU GET CANCER AND DIE."
My wife sat there stunned. Within minutes I felt awful. After carrying the shame around for the night, I called the number back the next day, and then i did something so cowardly and weird, I still don't know what my brain was thinking: I put on a completely false voice, sort of like an effeminate older man, and when the woman answered -- and she didn't identify herself as being part of any organization, so I assumed she was making the phone calls from her home phone -- I improvised this story that the call she got the night prior was by my unruly teenage son, and that we had been having problems with his outbursts ever since he hit puberty.
The woman was very kind, said she appreciated my call and that yes, kids can be difficult at that age, and that sometimes these sorts of outbursts happen. I got the sense she knew I was lying to her, and that she was in fact talking to the guy who had wished her a cancerous death the night prior.
It ranks up there as one of the shittiest things I've ever done.
Post subject: Re: Rewrite an Iconic Movie Scene Starring an RMer
Posted: Mon May 21, 2018 9:37 pm
Production Police
Joined: Tue September 24, 2013 5:56 pm Posts: 47141 Location: In the oatmeal aisle wearing a Shellac shirt
The Goonies
EXT: A beach on the Oregon coast. THE GOONIES and their CAPTIVE FRATELLIS have emerged from the underwater pirate dwelling just as the POLICE and PRESS are arriving to the beach. The GOONIES crowd around the SHERIFF, all trying their best to share their tales of adventure; it quickly dissolves into utter chaos.
Their apparent moment of triumph is halted when the REAL ESTATE MOGUL interrupts the celebration.
REAL ESTATE MOGUL: Alright Walsh, today's the day, so let's get this over with.
MRS. WALSH: Irving?
IRVING: I'm sorry, Mary...
TROY: Come on, Walsh! We don't have all day! There's fifty more houses to tear down after yours!
BRANDT lunges for TROY, but is held back by the crowd.
IRVING: Sheriff, I want you to witness this...
MIKEY: Sorry dad. We had our hands on the future, but we blew it to save our own lives. Sorry.
IRVING: That's all right. You and Brandt are home safe with your mom and me. That makes us the richest people in Astoria.
IRVING and MRS. WALSH embrace.
REAL ESTATE MOGUL: Walsh, you're looking at the richest people in Astoria. Now sign it.
IRVING starts signing the documents just as ROSALITA is having a look at the pouch the Goonies recovered from the pirate ship.
DATA (to Mikey): I'm sure gonna miss being a Goonie.
ROSALITA's eyes widen as she clutches at her chest -- she can't believe what she's found in that pouch!
ROSALITA: (muttering nonsensical Spanish like "Aiye dios mio," etc).
ROSALITA is growing increasingly exasperated and talking a mile a minute; her words would be unintelligible even for native Spanish speakers. She is clearly trying to communicate something important, so the crowd beckons MOUTH to the front of the pack so he can help translate her words.
MOUTH (over Rosalita): No pen? No write? No...sign! No sign! No sign!
The GOONIES: No sign! No sign! No sign!
MOUTH rips the documents and pen away from IRVING, and in a final act of rebellion scrawls a messy line across the REAL ESTATE MOGUL'S jacket.
ROSALITA runs to the crowd.
BRANDT: What's in the bag?
ROSALITA opens the bag and empties into MRS. WALSH's hands a collection of incredibly rare gems. Diamonds, rubies, emeralds and the like spill out and sparkle in the salty sunlight. The GOONIES lean in for a closer look and collectively gasp.
MIKEY: Dad it's my marble bag! The Fratellis forgot to check it! See, I emptied out my marbles and put the jewels in! We don't have to leave the Goondocks!
IRVING (elated): There'll be no more signing today or ever again!
IRVING tears up the contracts and throws the pieces into the air. The crowd lets out a joyous cheer!
TRAG: Guys, we are really peaking right now! Great work everyone!
The energy immediately grinds to a halt.
CHUD: The best way to ruin a good ending is to talk about how good it's going.
TRAG turns and walks slowly into the ocean, never to be seen again.
Last edited by tragabigzanda on Mon May 21, 2018 9:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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