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last night i had "the talk" with my 15yo. on the surface, that sounds a little late to be having that sort of talk, but he showed absolutely zero interest in dating until this school year. he has a girlfriend, and he's been asking me lately if he can go over to her house after school. both times, he's told me it's to hang out, and that her dad will be there. i was once a horny teen too, and would also want to go to girls' houses to hang out, dad or no dad. when he asked last night if he could go to her house today, i said only if it's with a group of friends, not solo. my wife--his stepmom--said you need to talk to him about some things.
i went to his room, and we sat down and i asked him about wanting to go hang out with her, and what that looks like to him. I said that I know what I wanted to do when I went over to a girl's house to hang out when I was his age. And that it was okay and normal, and none of this was bad, but I wanted him to understand that being alone with a teenage girl is sometimes something more than just hanging out. then i asked if he knew what consent was, and he said he did and I had him define it to make sure he understood. I said that I only have his safety in mind because when you're young and interested in someone else and you have feelings that you want to get out I want to make sure that you understand what that means for you and for the other person. I asked him if this was embarrassing and he said yes and I told him that this is hard for me too, and I really avoided this conversation for too long but I cared about him and I loved him and I wanted him to be safe. I talked to him about protecting himself sexually, and about what the consequences are if you don't protect yourself. I talked about protecting your heart because when you're young and you have all these feelings sometimes you think that this is it. This is the person that I'm going to be with forever, and you can be let down pretty easily and then you're dealing with other feelings.
I talked to him about unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. He said that he learned about all this stuff in school and I told him I understand that but I wouldn't be doing my due diligence as a parent or as a caretaker if I wasn't talking to him about these things. I asked him if he was watching pornography and he said that he had seen a couple of pictures so I know that means yes. i told him what he sees in porn isn't reality, and it's constructed by men, and isn't at all how things work or go. I didn't ask him if he's masturbating but I'm going to assume that he is because the other morning when i went to make sure he was waking up, his bedroom door was locked. He said that he locked it by accident because it's just automatic for him when he walks into a room like a bathroom and he just locks the door. He said that he walked in the room and was watching something on his phone and just naturally locked the door. And I said was it the titty show? He laughed and said no it was the Jeffrey Dahmer show on Netflix, which was way more comforting.
This morning when he came out to get breakfast before school he had on pajama pants. When I asked him why he was wearing pajama pants he said he and his girlfriend agreed that they would both wear pajama pants to school today. I said okay...
File that under dumb things you do for girls.
tl;dr: i had the sex talk with my teenager.
_________________
tragabigzanda wrote:
Guys I was baked out of my mind, I was just grooving
Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 9:55 pm Posts: 13819 Location: An office full of assholes
dad wrote:
last night i had "the talk" with my 15yo. on the surface, that sounds a little late to be having that sort of talk, but he showed absolutely zero interest in dating until this school year. he has a girlfriend, and he's been asking me lately if he can go over to her house after school. both times, he's told me it's to hang out, and that her dad will be there. i was once a horny teen too, and would also want to go to girls' houses to hang out, dad or no dad. when he asked last night if he could go to her house today, i said only if it's with a group of friends, not solo. my wife--his stepmom--said you need to talk to him about some things.
i went to his room, and we sat down and i asked him about wanting to go hang out with her, and what that looks like to him. I said that I know what I wanted to do when I went over to a girl's house to hang out when I was his age. And that it was okay and normal, and none of this was bad, but I wanted him to understand that being alone with a teenage girl is sometimes something more than just hanging out. then i asked if he knew what consent was, and he said he did and I had him define it to make sure he understood. I said that I only have his safety in mind because when you're young and interested in someone else and you have feelings that you want to get out I want to make sure that you understand what that means for you and for the other person. I asked him if this was embarrassing and he said yes and I told him that this is hard for me too, and I really avoided this conversation for too long but I cared about him and I loved him and I wanted him to be safe. I talked to him about protecting himself sexually, and about what the consequences are if you don't protect yourself. I talked about protecting your heart because when you're young and you have all these feelings sometimes you think that this is it. This is the person that I'm going to be with forever, and you can be let down pretty easily and then you're dealing with other feelings.
I talked to him about unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. He said that he learned about all this stuff in school and I told him I understand that but I wouldn't be doing my due diligence as a parent or as a caretaker if I wasn't talking to him about these things. I asked him if he was watching pornography and he said that he had seen a couple of pictures so I know that means yes. i told him what he sees in porn isn't reality, and it's constructed by men, and isn't at all how things work or go. I didn't ask him if he's masturbating but I'm going to assume that he is because the other morning when i went to make sure he was waking up, his bedroom door was locked. He said that he locked it by accident because it's just automatic for him when he walks into a room like a bathroom and he just locks the door. He said that he walked in the room and was watching something on his phone and just naturally locked the door. And I said was it the titty show? He laughed and said no it was the Jeffrey Dahmer show on Netflix, which was way more comforting.
This morning when he came out to get breakfast before school he had on pajama pants. When I asked him why he was wearing pajama pants he said he and his girlfriend agreed that they would both wear pajama pants to school today. I said okay...
File that under dumb things you do for girls.
tl;dr: i had the sex talk with my teenager.
are you free today to pick my 14 year old boy up from practice and have this same talk (sans the pajama pants)?
last night i had "the talk" with my 15yo. on the surface, that sounds a little late to be having that sort of talk, but he showed absolutely zero interest in dating until this school year. he has a girlfriend, and he's been asking me lately if he can go over to her house after school. both times, he's told me it's to hang out, and that her dad will be there. i was once a horny teen too, and would also want to go to girls' houses to hang out, dad or no dad. when he asked last night if he could go to her house today, i said only if it's with a group of friends, not solo. my wife--his stepmom--said you need to talk to him about some things.
i went to his room, and we sat down and i asked him about wanting to go hang out with her, and what that looks like to him. I said that I know what I wanted to do when I went over to a girl's house to hang out when I was his age. And that it was okay and normal, and none of this was bad, but I wanted him to understand that being alone with a teenage girl is sometimes something more than just hanging out. then i asked if he knew what consent was, and he said he did and I had him define it to make sure he understood. I said that I only have his safety in mind because when you're young and interested in someone else and you have feelings that you want to get out I want to make sure that you understand what that means for you and for the other person. I asked him if this was embarrassing and he said yes and I told him that this is hard for me too, and I really avoided this conversation for too long but I cared about him and I loved him and I wanted him to be safe. I talked to him about protecting himself sexually, and about what the consequences are if you don't protect yourself. I talked about protecting your heart because when you're young and you have all these feelings sometimes you think that this is it. This is the person that I'm going to be with forever, and you can be let down pretty easily and then you're dealing with other feelings.
I talked to him about unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. He said that he learned about all this stuff in school and I told him I understand that but I wouldn't be doing my due diligence as a parent or as a caretaker if I wasn't talking to him about these things. I asked him if he was watching pornography and he said that he had seen a couple of pictures so I know that means yes. i told him what he sees in porn isn't reality, and it's constructed by men, and isn't at all how things work or go. I didn't ask him if he's masturbating but I'm going to assume that he is because the other morning when i went to make sure he was waking up, his bedroom door was locked. He said that he locked it by accident because it's just automatic for him when he walks into a room like a bathroom and he just locks the door. He said that he walked in the room and was watching something on his phone and just naturally locked the door. And I said was it the titty show? He laughed and said no it was the Jeffrey Dahmer show on Netflix, which was way more comforting.
This morning when he came out to get breakfast before school he had on pajama pants. When I asked him why he was wearing pajama pants he said he and his girlfriend agreed that they would both wear pajama pants to school today. I said okay...
File that under dumb things you do for girls.
tl;dr: i had the sex talk with my teenager.
are you free today to pick my 14 year old boy up from practice and have this same talk (sans the pajama pants)?
sure. i'm thinking of adding in the phrase vag vids. thoughts?
_________________
tragabigzanda wrote:
Guys I was baked out of my mind, I was just grooving
Joined: Wed January 02, 2013 6:02 am Posts: 9712 Location: Tristes Tropiques
Looking like we're gonna have a big baby. 80th percentile on the 36 week scan today, 7 pounds 4 ounces already.
_________________
VinylGuy wrote:
its really tiresome to see these ¨good guys¨ talking about any political stuff in tv while also being kinda funny and hip and cool....its just...please enough of this shit.
I remember I was in Miami when it happened. I was posting from the balcony of my apartment overlooking the beach. And I was having an argument with Adamdude.
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