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Who Said It: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford or Simpsons Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby? By Justin Peters | Posted Friday, May 17, 2013, at 1:59 PM
On Thursday, Gawker’s John Cook reported the existence of a video that allegedly shows Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine. Since entering public service as a city councilor in 2000, Ford has been known for his odd and improper public behavior and comments, a habit that only got worse after he was elected mayor in 2010. Whether he’s accosting out-of-towners at a hockey game, offering to help procure OxyContin for a constituent, or railing against streetcars and anti-poverty activists, Ford has consistently tested the limits of “mayoral behavior.”
In fact, the public servant Ford most closely resembles is the fictional mayor from The Simpsons, Diamond Joe Quimby. Both men are heavyset. Both are often at odds with constituents, colleagues, and the press. And both are prone to saying outrageous things in public.
I’ve prepared a 20-question quiz of quotes from Ford and Quimby. Which mayor said which wildly inappropriate thing? Answers are at the bottom.
1. “Are these morons getting dumber or just louder?”
2. “It’s hard to hide 300 pounds of fun.”
3. “People don't want to see their mayor stuck in an office all the time, they want to see him right at their door.”
4. “We'll blow up our dams, destroy forests, anything! If there's a species of animal causing problems, nosing around your camera, we'll have it wiped out.”
5. “Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town. You’re just a bunch of low-income nobodies.”
6. “Let’s call a spade a spade. The left would have taken it and just wanted to spend it on crazy, stupid things like more social programs ...”
7. “Oh my god, I never want to hurt a bike. That’s the last thing I want to do, precious little bikes.”
8. “I ordered the re-opening of this prison to send a message to the criminals of [name of city]. If you commit a violent crime in my town, you are going to end up here. To demonstrate what you're in for, I will now strap myself into this electric chair, which was deactivated over 30 years ago, and, I can only assume, still is.”
9. “Water is the healthiest form of liquid.”
10. “By the way, this woman is not my wife, but I am sleeping with her. I'm telling you this because I'm comfortable with my womanizing."
11. “I'm sick of you people, you’re nothing but a pack of fickle mush heads.”
12. “Tuesday, Nov. 27, I’m going to be playing hooky from City Hall.”
13. “Those Oriental people work like dogs. … They're slowly taking over.”
14. “Now on to the next item, the proposal for putting term limits on public office. All those in favor say, ‘I have sex with animals.’ ”
15. “I’d love to see us sell the zoo and make money on it if we can. ... Keep the elephants here and take it from there.”
16. “You don't scare me, that could be anyone's ass. Now beat it! I'm calling the shots.”
17. “I will retract the word ‘ass.’ ”
18. “Very well, if that is the way the winds are blowing, let no one say I don't also blow.”
19. “You are tampering with forces you can't understand, we have major corporations sponsoring this event.”
20 Things Worth Knowing About Toronto’s Crack-Smoking Mayor, Rob Ford By Dan Amira
Many Americans awoke this morning to discover that (a) the mayor of Toronto is a guy named Rob Ford, and (b) Rob Ford smokes crack. Gawker reported last night that a cell-phone video clearly showing Ford lighting up a crack pipe — which was supposedly filmed within the last six months, while he was mayor — was being shopped around for six figures. Gawker's John Cook saw the video in person with his own two eyes, as did two reporters from the Toronto Star. Ford's lawyer calls the video "false and defamatory" and asks, hilariously, “How can you indicate what the person is actually doing or smoking?”
If you didn't know anything at all about Rob Ford, the revelation that he smoked crack on video might come as an absolute shock. Marion Barry aside, this is not something that mayors do. But if you were familiar with Ford, you might not even be that surprised. For the uninitiated, here are the twenty most important things to know about Rob Ford.
1.
In 1999, as a 29-year-old who had yet to enter public office, Ford was charged in Florida with DUI and marijuana possession (although the marijuana charge was dropped). When the arrest came to light during Ford's run for mayor in 2010, Ford lied and claimed he had merely been charged with failing to take a breathalyzer test, not a DUI. Lying about easily disproven things would become a Ford trademark.
2.
In 2002, Ford suggested that instead of having a "public meeting" about locating a homeless shelter in his district, "Why don't we have a public lynching?"
3.
In February of 2003, Ford went on a tirade at a city council meeting, calling a colleague a "slithering snake" who belongs in the zoo. The city council meeting quickly devolved into absolute chaos, by Canadian standards.
4.
In 2005, Ford referred to fellow city council member Gloria Lindsay Luby as "a joke," "a waste of time," and "a waste of skin."
5.
Sometime during or before 2005, while a city councilor, Ford got into a heated argument with a reporter who called him a "fat fuck." (The good stuff starts around 1:00.)
...and it goes on (see the link below for the full story)
Ha. It is strange for such a well adjusted city to go straight up bad. How is he still around? I would rag on Toronto, but the US has Bloomberg. I doubt he ever smoked crack, but he turned our greatest city into a pansy children's book..
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