Your mom’s hot?

I just think "What would Captain America do?" and do that.

Divine command

I think that's referred to as Vaughtism.

literally just this

I'd be more inclined to replace "recognizing" with "agreeing".

All corners of society have heros, the fictional ones are those that deliberately fall in the middle of the venn diagram.

Yes, which should be recognized as a horrible, dystopian situation that wasn't previously the case.

Being able to predict where a hurricane is heading wasn't previously the case, Burt. People change.

Yesterday I received a package that belonged to someone else from Amazon, and spent 30 minutes trying to get them to do something about it. They said they would take care of it, but I never even gave them the package info or address or anything. So there is some poor bastard out in the world with an itchy back and no ethernet.

They said I could keep it or donate it or something. It was a telescoping back scratcher and a ethernet cable.

As an egoist who believes I should only act in my own self interest, I would normally keep it and thus increase my power over the world, but I can't think of any use for this shit. The back scratcher doesn't even work well. So I threw it in the trash. What a waste.

What would you do in this situation?

How far away does the intended recipient live?

Your reveal of what the items in the package were after talking about the problems the poor bastard would have without them was a compelling stylistic choice.

Good ethics, Burt

Or an editing mistake.