If I go that route, do you guys want the pics?

I mean, I take your point insofar as our bartender friend who probably won't work until July should get $3600 while my wife and I, with guaranteed employment through the next 1.5/3.5 years, don't really need the same kind of help, but I think there's a few pretty obvious answers for why we're not means-testing the emergency relief funds.

How would they even go about means testing this? If they're basing it on your 2018/2019 tax returns, that doesn't tell you anything about someone's current situation.

Right, exactly. The logistical nightmare/impossibility of trying to target these checks to the "most vulnerable" right now--even trying to figure out who counts in that category--seems to me a pretty obvious reason for making them universal.

It's not just logistics.

I would be uproariously pissed off if I had to work at the local Wal-Mart through this, endangering myself and my family, while everyone else gets a check for staying home.

In Canada I get to make out like a bandit.

I qualify for a three year interest free loan of $40k, and if paid back by end of 2022 then I only need to pay back $30k. Pretty sweet.

For the next four or more months the government is subsidizing my salary to the tune of $750 per week. Will do my part for the economy and use some of that free money to re-stock the wine and whiskey collection.

Yes, as I noted, there are multiple reasons.

This fucking narcissistic toddler actually sent a PHYSICAL LETTER WITH HIS KINDERGARTEN SIGNATURE to us even though we had direct deposit. What a fucking asshole. And he sent it through the USPS!

We burned ours in the fire pit.

Pretty sure we're going to burn ours tonight, too. We just have to decide whether or not to film it and put it Instagram.

I believe my wife put it on her Snapchat. I still don't 100% know how that works.

It was a requirement in the law that a letter of explanation be sent out as well as the funds.

It's called "campaigning"

there’s a lot of people who might appreciate an uplifting message and a few thousand bucks during a time like this

capitalism failed...again.


socialism is the cure. again.

My grandma got her check today despite being dead for a year and a half. It even said "deceased" on it.

you deposited it, right?

You don't think the bank teller might question the "deceased" printed after her name?

Not if you signed it that way