dudes!! all this Eric A talk is making me so happy

one of my favs from all time and you can hear the influence on PJ very early on, like Jeff says.

I appreciate the indulgence of anyone who actually reads the below.... I'm in love with the album and have been thinking about it as a concept album, of sorts. My thoughts are below.

We all hear and consume music based on our own personal circumstances. I hear this album as an incredibly personal and effective testimony to the power of the human spirit and the triumph of the soul in the face of the everyday trials and tribulations we all confront. This album is, to me, a refutation of anxiety and depression, and those other things that hold so many of us back, and hinder our personal development and evolution and self-actualization. it's a push to push ourselves… to be honest with ourselves and each other… where gigaton was existential and outward, this album is inward and very intimate and personal. Where others have interpreted Ed singing about third parties, i.e., chris cornell, or his family, etc., I hear him singing to himself and to all of us, broadly, encouraging people to confront their skeletons … their personal monsters … their problems... it’s a call to do anything and everything necessary to accomplish self-actualization.

Scared of Fear sets the tone for the whole record and is probably my favorite song. For those that suffer from anxiety or depression and understand the cyclical and episodic nature of those conditions, the first few verses, to me, sound like the initial exposure to a bad episode and the realization that things are going to be challenging ahead .. doesn’t have to be that, could just be bad times, hardship … “did I say something wrong”, “did I walk out of step”, .. this feels to me like the internal monologue of, here we go again, what did I do wrong, why now? ”Do I have to be scared”? This is an acknowledgement of what is to come … how bad is it going to get? “I surrender to you”, i.e., I accept what’s to come … I love the line pre-chorus and chorus … “hurting yourself, it’s plain to see, I think you’re hurting yourself just to hurt me.” This sentiment is tethered to the name of the song, “Scared of Fear” … the condition of anxiety is really just the investment and entertainment of conspiracy theories about yourself … they’re never true, you just treat your worst fears like they are. “We used to laugh, we used to sing, we used to dance, we had our own scene…” this feels like the recollection of better times …. Life used to be easier, why are things so hard right now? The bridge references the “voices calling” “all around my head” which feels like what true anxiety feels like …, to me anyways …. A cacophonous and endless noise inside my head which I can’t turn off…. With this song, the stage is set for the album. I don’t want to be scared of fear, which is really what anxiety is… it’s fear. I want to confront it.

React / Respond feels like the logical next step and really resonates with me … I happen to be a lawyer and dig the legal references, though to me, the lyrics, again, reference a person suffering with true anxiety … “worried and hurried” … “innocent until proven innocent” …. We are all “hurting … and it is magnificent.” This is the antagonist of the story, perhaps the “devil” from something special, reveling in our despair… Maybe this condition, the anxiety we feel in the face of trying to be deliberate and honest and open to our life is the “price of admission” for our human condition. The refrain offers some direction though …. When the challenges set in, “don’t react, respond” … in other words, don’t give in to your impulses, recognize things for what they are, hard times are fleeting moments, … not necessarily the truth of your life. Our consciousness and our intention “could be fighting together”, connected with meaning and intention because as “the light gets brighter” “the darkness recedes.” This song, to me, is a head nod to idea that we can overcome the burdens that challenge us through deliberate thought and perseverance. This is the beginning of the road map.

The wreckage is spectacular. We are all “visited by thoughts” that maybe we’re not inclined to deal with or confront, or, thoughts that present themselves incessantly and are hard to cast aside, or turn town. Our neuro pathways, our bad habits, are made by “DNA chains” “refusing to release.” We all have to be honest with who we are, and who we not. Sometimes, life feels like we’re just coming through the “wreckage” to find true meaning, true purpose. Life is not about “who is wrong or who is right” … we are called to a higher purpose – acceptance, love of others, self-love. The only thing we can do is hold on for the ride. Life is really about the journey, not the result.

Dark matter is a direct acknowledgement, the most transparent of the album, of the challenges of life. Hard times will “take the breath from our chest[s]” and “break the thoughts in our mind” … “dark matter” , in the most broad sense, exists all around us … in today’s day and age, so much feels beyond our control. Without getting political or hyperbolic, many of us sense that our lives are heavily influenced by forces beyond our control. “Its strange these days when everybody else pays for someone else’s mistake.” In the depths of our hard times, we are sometimes inclined to blame others …

“Wont tell” is spectacular. To my ear, the female referenced in this song is the concept of relief. “Her eyes were soft and sympathized” and had a “vision so uncompromised.” This lyric brings me to my knees. In the arc of the album, This is the first notion that relief is around available, and maybe even around the corner. Perhaps all we have to do is acknowledge that the world is bigger than us, and ask for help? That soring chorus, “you can find me here, waiting for your message to come, can you heal? Can you feel the chains in my heart?” is a cry for help … a plea … an acknowledgment that life is about letting go and opening ourselves up…. It’s also a promise to follow any guidance or relief that can be obtained. This is an acknowledgement that we’re all fallible, we’re all human, and asking for help is ok … I love the pivot from “chains” to “change” in the chorus as the song progresses and I love the bridge: “I’d open the door, I’d let you in, I would open it if you came, but if it’s not you knocking, it’s staying closed.” Sometimes, in the depths of our sorrows, we turn to the wrong things for relief … toxic relationships, drugs or alcohol … I hear this to mean, only if it’s truly relief at the door, will I open it, i.e., I want real change, I will avoid the things that are not healthy for me … I’d rather rot with my anxiety than feed the monster with bad tendencies. But can you feel my heart and the change I want to implement in my life? I’m well intentioned, I want to do better.

Upper hand is a true reckoning ….the math is what the math is … for Ed, and for the protagonist, the end is closer than the beginning, that’s just the truth. We have all lived through ups and downs and seen “the light and sights” … though we may be the only one reading the books of our lives, that doesn’t mean they haven’t been important. The refrain of this song has grown on me so much …. Who the hell knows what we’re doing, or where we’re going, but we’re trying our best, and at bottom, I hope those around me are smiling and live a good and proud life. I’m doing the best I can. Also, I hear some self-depracation from Ed here … we all sometimes feel like the lonely ship on the horizon and Ed probably feels undeserving, on some level, of the “bright light” of his life which has translated into “dark shadows” … to me, this is a reference to the burden of success… we all work for something or towards something … sometimes achieving our goals doesn’t relieve us of the pressures of our obligation and our conscience. Life is more than that. In this sense, life is “blurry” … there are not necessarily defined lines to guide our way. Ultimately, Ed references the need for “a few of you” and “maybe just the two of you.” I hear these lyrics as a nod to his children and to his legacy, not a retreat to his family … the most any of us may be able to do is ensure that our children are well-positioned for success .. those of us who are parents may be able to sympathize with this sentiment… Like, what the hell is the point of any of this, but I will invest everything I have into my children.

Waiting for Stevie is the culmination and crown jewel of this album. Love from others means very little if you don’t feel worthy of that love yourself. The protagonist in the song is a girl finding self-empowerment in the power of live music but really, the song is about overcoming the noise of life around us realizing that we are all, enough. Find the thing you are passionate about and pursue that thing .. invest in that thing … never give ups. This song is about being proactive and deliberate in working towards overcoming those things that hold you down. We can call be loved and we can all be love. We can overcome the trials and tribulations of our life through love.

Running is frenetic and frantic and the lyrics mirror the music …. Sometimes life feels like a race that never ends …. Our lives should be the product of our deliberate choices and not suffer from the inadvertent nature of the “water running” i.e., we are responsible for ourselves and notwithstanding our date with the gallows, i.e, the inevitability of death, we must resist the bullshit and pursue our lives in earnest and not take a back seat the things happening around us. This is a call to be deliberate.

Something special is a bit on the nose, but to me, and as the father of 3 girls under 13, it’s really a testament to the value of breaking the bad vibes in your life by investing in the people who you love around you, whoever that may be. All you need is love, truly. this song is infectious for that reason.

Got to Give is so interesting, it’s a roadmap, an ingredient in the recipe for resisting the bad times in your life. Life can feel like “a broken engine busted, lifted up on blocks” but through perseverance and hard work, success is possible…. You just have to commit to being the last one standing and along the way, the first to forgive those around you. Push back against your anxiety and depression, or the things that hold you down. “lets get to the point”, “the pain of this every day has got to give” at some point, and life is about weathering the storm together … “together, you and me … can take on anyone.” Life is about doubling down on those you have already bet on and refusing to lose. Relief is coming… all things change and nothing is forever. The hard times will relent.

Setting sun is just perfect … love the reference to casts resetting bones, and how there is no such thing. To me, this references the WORK that goes into being awake and alive and deliberate … nothing is free. We owe it to ourselves to do the work. To fix one’s love for themselves, and to move forward, we have to recognize that we’re not a stranger knocking on the door, or an outsider or byproduct or passenger to our own perceived reality … we have control of ourselves and we are the solution to our problems. the problems, the turmoil, the hardships, AND THE SOLUTIONS, are within us. When the music pivots in the last 2 minutes of the song, Ed references the existential tension of life (and the by-line for the album to me)… you can be plugged in, and trying, and working, but the results don’t come … sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one putting the work in … “Am I the only one hanging on?” the strength of our lives is found in the struggle of trying to be good, trying to do right, and committing yourself to those around us that we love. “If you could see … what I see now, you’d make your way to stay.” The success of life is found truly in the process of trying to overcome its obstacles … the journey is what counts … Ed doesn’t wish “happy days” for us at the end of the song, he wishes us “long days” … “until kingdom come…” “We could become one last setting sun, or be the sun at the break of done.” I hear this as a reference to our potential, to the progress and self-evolution that waits for us at the other end of our hard work.

Ultimately, I see an arc to the album and am totally enamored with the artistry of the music and the passion of the performances. Love love love. Thanks RM for indulging me.

I appreciate the indulgence of anyone who actually reads the below....

I appreciate the indulgence of anyone who actually reads the below.... I'm in love with the album and have been thinking about it as a concept album, of sorts. My thoughts are below.

We all hear and consume music based on our own personal circumstances. I hear this album as an incredibly personal and effective testimony to the power of the human spirit and the triumph of the soul in the face of the everyday trials and tribulations we all confront. This album is, to me, a refutation of anxiety and depression, and those other things that hold so many of us back, and hinder our personal development and evolution and self-actualization. it's a push to push ourselves… to be honest with ourselves and each other… where gigaton was existential and outward, this album is inward and very intimate and personal. Where others have interpreted Ed singing about third parties, i.e., chris cornell, or his family, etc., I hear him singing to himself and to all of us, broadly, encouraging people to confront their skeletons … their personal monsters … their problems... it’s a call to do anything and everything necessary to accomplish self-actualization.

Scared of Fear sets the tone for the whole record and is probably my favorite song. For those that suffer from anxiety or depression and understand the cyclical and episodic nature of those conditions, the first few verses, to me, sound like the initial exposure to a bad episode and the realization that things are going to be challenging ahead .. doesn’t have to be that, could just be bad times, hardship … “did I say something wrong”, “did I walk out of step”, .. this feels to me like the internal monologue of, here we go again, what did I do wrong, why now? ”Do I have to be scared”? This is an acknowledgement of what is to come … how bad is it going to get? “I surrender to you”, i.e., I accept what’s to come … I love the line pre-chorus and chorus … “hurting yourself, it’s plain to see, I think you’re hurting yourself just to hurt me.” This sentiment is tethered to the name of the song, “Scared of Fear” … the condition of anxiety is really just the investment and entertainment of conspiracy theories about yourself … they’re never true, you just treat your worst fears like they are. “We used to laugh, we used to sing, we used to dance, we had our own scene…” this feels like the recollection of better times …. Life used to be easier, why are things so hard right now? The bridge references the “voices calling” “all around my head” which feels like what true anxiety feels like …, to me anyways …. A cacophonous and endless noise inside my head which I can’t turn off…. With this song, the stage is set for the album. I don’t want to be scared of fear, which is really what anxiety is… it’s fear. I want to confront it.

React / Respond feels like the logical next step and really resonates with me … I happen to be a lawyer and dig the legal references, though to me, the lyrics, again, reference a person suffering with true anxiety … “worried and hurried” … “innocent until proven innocent” …. We are all “hurting … and it is magnificent.” This is the antagonist of the story, perhaps the “devil” from something special, reveling in our despair… Maybe this condition, the anxiety we feel in the face of trying to be deliberate and honest and open to our life is the “price of admission” for our human condition. The refrain offers some direction though …. When the challenges set in, “don’t react, respond” … in other words, don’t give in to your impulses, recognize things for what they are, hard times are fleeting moments, … not necessarily the truth of your life. Our consciousness and our intention “could be fighting together”, connected with meaning and intention because as “the light gets brighter” “the darkness recedes.” This song, to me, is a head nod to idea that we can overcome the burdens that challenge us through deliberate thought and perseverance. This is the beginning of the road map.

The wreckage is spectacular. We are all “visited by thoughts” that maybe we’re not inclined to deal with or confront, or, thoughts that present themselves incessantly and are hard to cast aside, or turn town. Our neuro pathways, our bad habits, are made by “DNA chains” “refusing to release.” We all have to be honest with who we are, and who we not. Sometimes, life feels like we’re just coming through the “wreckage” to find true meaning, true purpose. Life is not about “who is wrong or who is right” … we are called to a higher purpose – acceptance, love of others, self-love. The only thing we can do is hold on for the ride. Life is really about the journey, not the result.

Dark matter is a direct acknowledgement, the most transparent of the album, of the challenges of life. Hard times will “take the breath from our chest[s]” and “break the thoughts in our mind” … “dark matter” , in the most broad sense, exists all around us … in today’s day and age, so much feels beyond our control. Without getting political or hyperbolic, many of us sense that our lives are heavily influenced by forces beyond our control. “Its strange these days when everybody else pays for someone else’s mistake.” In the depths of our hard times, we are sometimes inclined to blame others …

“Wont tell” is spectacular. To my ear, the female referenced in this song is the concept of relief. “Her eyes were soft and sympathized” and had a “vision so uncompromised.” This lyric brings me to my knees. In the arc of the album, This is the first notion that relief is around available, and maybe even around the corner. Perhaps all we have to do is acknowledge that the world is bigger than us, and ask for help? That soring chorus, “you can find me here, waiting for your message to come, can you heal? Can you feel the chains in my heart?” is a cry for help … a plea … an acknowledgment that life is about letting go and opening ourselves up…. It’s also a promise to follow any guidance or relief that can be obtained. This is an acknowledgement that we’re all fallible, we’re all human, and asking for help is ok … I love the pivot from “chains” to “change” in the chorus as the song progresses and I love the bridge: “I’d open the door, I’d let you in, I would open it if you came, but if it’s not you knocking, it’s staying closed.” Sometimes, in the depths of our sorrows, we turn to the wrong things for relief … toxic relationships, drugs or alcohol … I hear this to mean, only if it’s truly relief at the door, will I open it, i.e., I want real change, I will avoid the things that are not healthy for me … I’d rather rot with my anxiety than feed the monster with bad tendencies. But can you feel my heart and the change I want to implement in my life? I’m well intentioned, I want to do better.

Upper hand is a true reckoning ….the math is what the math is … for Ed, and for the protagonist, the end is closer than the beginning, that’s just the truth. We have all lived through ups and downs and seen “the light and sights” … though we may be the only one reading the books of our lives, that doesn’t mean they haven’t been important. The refrain of this song has grown on me so much …. Who the hell knows what we’re doing, or where we’re going, but we’re trying our best, and at bottom, I hope those around me are smiling and live a good and proud life. I’m doing the best I can. Also, I hear some self-depracation from Ed here … we all sometimes feel like the lonely ship on the horizon and Ed probably feels undeserving, on some level, of the “bright light” of his life which has translated into “dark shadows” … to me, this is a reference to the burden of success… we all work for something or towards something … sometimes achieving our goals doesn’t relieve us of the pressures of our obligation and our conscience. Life is more than that. In this sense, life is “blurry” … there are not necessarily defined lines to guide our way. Ultimately, Ed references the need for “a few of you” and “maybe just the two of you.” I hear these lyrics as a nod to his children and to his legacy, not a retreat to his family … the most any of us may be able to do is ensure that our children are well-positioned for success .. those of us who are parents may be able to sympathize with this sentiment… Like, what the hell is the point of any of this, but I will invest everything I have into my children.

Waiting for Stevie is the culmination and crown jewel of this album. Love from others means very little if you don’t feel worthy of that love yourself. The protagonist in the song is a girl finding self-empowerment in the power of live music but really, the song is about overcoming the noise of life around us realizing that we are all, enough. Find the thing you are passionate about and pursue that thing .. invest in that thing … never give ups. This song is about being proactive and deliberate in working towards overcoming those things that hold you down. We can call be loved and we can all be love. We can overcome the trials and tribulations of our life through love.

Running is frenetic and frantic and the lyrics mirror the music …. Sometimes life feels like a race that never ends …. Our lives should be the product of our deliberate choices and not suffer from the inadvertent nature of the “water running” i.e., we are responsible for ourselves and notwithstanding our date with the gallows, i.e, the inevitability of death, we must resist the bullshit and pursue our lives in earnest and not take a back seat the things happening around us. This is a call to be deliberate.

Something special is a bit on the nose, but to me, and as the father of 3 girls under 13, it’s really a testament to the value of breaking the bad vibes in your life by investing in the people who you love around you, whoever that may be. All you need is love, truly. this song is infectious for that reason.

Got to Give is so interesting, it’s a roadmap, an ingredient in the recipe for resisting the bad times in your life. Life can feel like “a broken engine busted, lifted up on blocks” but through perseverance and hard work, success is possible…. You just have to commit to being the last one standing and along the way, the first to forgive those around you. Push back against your anxiety and depression, or the things that hold you down. “lets get to the point”, “the pain of this every day has got to give” at some point, and life is about weathering the storm together … “together, you and me … can take on anyone.” Life is about doubling down on those you have already bet on and refusing to lose. Relief is coming… all things change and nothing is forever. The hard times will relent.

Setting sun is just perfect … love the reference to casts resetting bones, and how there is no such thing. To me, this references the WORK that goes into being awake and alive and deliberate … nothing is free. We owe it to ourselves to do the work. To fix one’s love for themselves, and to move forward, we have to recognize that we’re not a stranger knocking on the door, or an outsider or byproduct or passenger to our own perceived reality … we have control of ourselves and we are the solution to our problems. the problems, the turmoil, the hardships, AND THE SOLUTIONS, are within us. When the music pivots in the last 2 minutes of the song, Ed references the existential tension of life (and the by-line for the album to me)… you can be plugged in, and trying, and working, but the results don’t come … sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one putting the work in … “Am I the only one hanging on?” the strength of our lives is found in the struggle of trying to be good, trying to do right, and committing yourself to those around us that we love. “If you could see … what I see now, you’d make your way to stay.” The success of life is found truly in the process of trying to overcome its obstacles … the journey is what counts … Ed doesn’t wish “happy days” for us at the end of the song, he wishes us “long days” … “until kingdom come…” “We could become one last setting sun, or be the sun at the break of done.” I hear this as a reference to our potential, to the progress and self-evolution that waits for us at the other end of our hard work.

Ultimately, I see an arc to the album and am totally enamored with the artistry of the music and the passion of the performances. Love love love. Thanks RM for indulging me.

Read and appreciated

At this point, I'm pretty pleased with what these guys have managed to put together for this album. Gigaton reinvigorated my love for the band and even elevated some of the stuff that I found to be weak (Avocado, for example, soared from being a near career nadir to sitting comfortably alongside most of the records that preceded it). Dark Matter builds from that ledge that its predecessor staked out, but in a very different way. The band is still hooked more heavily into an adult contemporary pop style of arranging their songs, but this is the first time it comes off as being completely natural rather than feeling like putting on a face.

"Scared of Fear" immediately sounds like a sequel to Gigaton, echoing the energy of "Who Ever Said," but I think it's more structurally conventional than that song (it's hard not to be, as "WES" was such a labyrinthine tune). In these early listens, it's a competent enough opener, but I haven't really dug much into its details. "React, Respond," however, immediately struck me. I'm usually not a fan of Pearl Jam's fast and heavy numbers, but this one is an early favorite for me. I love Eddie's vocals, especially in the choruses and when he gets a little syllable-heavy near the end. The only quibble I have is when the heavy echoes are added to some of his more unhinged moments. It's the same technique that Watt used quite a bit on Earthling, and it usually feels fake and overdone. It just might work here, though. I also really like when Mike's guitar starts to turn into a mosquito whine at the end of the solo.

"Wreckage" is our Americana tune and it feels somewhat imitative at first, but once that little descending riff that could be heard in the metal door clip shows up, we're headlong into falling into a more classically Pearl Jam style where the influences begin to blend into a sound that belongs to the band themselves. "Dark Matter" is the first full song on the album that feels like it has no real precedence in the band's catalog and because of that it's sticking out like a sore thumb in the full-album listens I've done so far. When it was released as the first single I grew from an intially disarming trepidation to a later begrudging appreciation. As of right now, if I had to cut a song, it would be this one. Oddly, I could totally hear it sharing an album space with something like "Can't Deny Me" in a collection of songs that really push the band to places that feel uncomfortably out-of-character.

"Won't Tell" finds the band trading Petty for U2 or maybe something else of that era that I can't quite put my finger on. There's bright, soaring synths that roll in for the choruses, which is something from latter-day Pearl Jam that I still find somewhat out of place. This is another one that I think needs more time and perhaps individual focus. "Upper Hand" has a wonderful dark moodiness in its opening with the floating ambience and post-punk fast-picking guitar, then shifts into a Pink Floyd style blues when the whole band kicks in. It gets even bluesier in the chorus, shedding the Floyd stylings for a bit in favor of something more traditional. I'm not sure that I like the way it soars so high in the ending, though. The ascension to a crescendo feels necessary, but the tonal shift feels jarring, as it's too bright to properly resolve the darkness that came before.

Here's that famous riff in "Waiting for Stevie" - it's a tried-and-true early-mid '90s soar and it doesn't for one second feel false. I'm forever glad that the band didn't make a career out of these kinds of songs, but it's delightful to hear them go back to the well for the first time in a long while. Here the massive jam at the end is 100% earned and appropriate. Props to the whole band for playing their asses off there. The slight reprise at the end ("Be Humble"?) is another delight. I wonder if it's meant to be part of the proper song. I guess we'll see when they play it live. Either way, it seamlessly blends into "Running", and, unlike the title track, this song actually seems to make sense here, both in its jarring tonal shift and in how it fits into the album. I was even more uncertain of this song than "Dark Matter," and while it's still something I really want from the band, in context it feels appropriate to clear the air.

"Something Special" turns on the shit-kicking bounce, but despite all my misgivings from reading about the song, hearing it for the first time was another highlight. Pearl Jam tried to dip into this style of song a couple times on Lightning Bolt ("Let the Records Play" and "Sleeping By Myself" have similar DNA), but it rang hollow. Once again, the theme of almost everything feeling naturally derived holds up here and I couldn't be happier about that. "Got to Give" admirably carries the flag as the final full-on anthem of the album with a little bit of a heartland rock bounce. When the bridge comes in, we've cycled back to echoing Gigaton a bit, as it reminds me of the swelling finale of "Retrograde" and then it shifts gears a little more to turn into a Who pastiche with Ed even mimicking Daltrey's vocal grit.

The album closes up shop on "Setting Sun" which has that interesting percussion part in the beginning that so clearly echoes "Let Me Sleep," but it's also somewhat reminiscent of "River Cross." The slide guitar and overall beachy vibes call back a bit to "Parting Ways" while also continuing the band's love affair with the '80s throughout this record, this time as a little yacht rock. Kinda like "Upper Hand," I'm not really sold on the shift into more straightforward rock, so the songs loses me for a while here, but the finale when Ed quietly pleads "let us not fade" and the last chord fails to resolve is some real magical stuff. I could see this growing on me.

All said, this a two for two reinvigoration of one of my favorite bands, so it's a true delight to hear that with the right fire these guys can still make such affecting music. Yeah, the production is mostly not ideal and not every song is kicking my ass or swelling my heart or engaging my brain at this stage, but there's a whole lot more positives than negatives in the whole package, and I look forward to hearing how my relationship with the album grows over time. If we're lucky enough to get an album 13, I would really love an approach that tries to utilize the best aspects of both Gigaton and Dark Matter. Give me a bit more weirdness at times and a cleaner sound with a band who are all really enjoying the act of creating together and I'll be happy.

My highlights at this time: "React, Respond," most of "Wreckage," most of "Upper Hand," "Waiting for Stevie," and "Something Special."

Haven’t been able to listen yet today, but now the night is mine. Red wine, edibles, AirPods, Apple Music Atmos mix, go.

I appreciate the indulgence of anyone who actually reads the below.... I'm in love with the album and have been thinking about it as a concept album, of sorts. My thoughts are below.

We all hear and consume music based on our own personal circumstances. I hear this album as an incredibly personal and effective testimony to the power of the human spirit and the triumph of the soul in the face of the everyday trials and tribulations we all confront. This album is, to me, a refutation of anxiety and depression, and those other things that hold so many of us back, and hinder our personal development and evolution and self-actualization. it's a push to push ourselves… to be honest with ourselves and each other… where gigaton was existential and outward, this album is inward and very intimate and personal. Where others have interpreted Ed singing about third parties, i.e., chris cornell, or his family, etc., I hear him singing to himself and to all of us, broadly, encouraging people to confront their skeletons … their personal monsters … their problems... it’s a call to do anything and everything necessary to accomplish self-actualization.

Scared of Fear sets the tone for the whole record and is probably my favorite song. For those that suffer from anxiety or depression and understand the cyclical and episodic nature of those conditions, the first few verses, to me, sound like the initial exposure to a bad episode and the realization that things are going to be challenging ahead .. doesn’t have to be that, could just be bad times, hardship … “did I say something wrong”, “did I walk out of step”, .. this feels to me like the internal monologue of, here we go again, what did I do wrong, why now? ”Do I have to be scared”? This is an acknowledgement of what is to come … how bad is it going to get? “I surrender to you”, i.e., I accept what’s to come … I love the line pre-chorus and chorus … “hurting yourself, it’s plain to see, I think you’re hurting yourself just to hurt me.” This sentiment is tethered to the name of the song, “Scared of Fear” … the condition of anxiety is really just the investment and entertainment of conspiracy theories about yourself … they’re never true, you just treat your worst fears like they are. “We used to laugh, we used to sing, we used to dance, we had our own scene…” this feels like the recollection of better times …. Life used to be easier, why are things so hard right now? The bridge references the “voices calling” “all around my head” which feels like what true anxiety feels like …, to me anyways …. A cacophonous and endless noise inside my head which I can’t turn off…. With this song, the stage is set for the album. I don’t want to be scared of fear, which is really what anxiety is… it’s fear. I want to confront it.

React / Respond feels like the logical next step and really resonates with me … I happen to be a lawyer and dig the legal references, though to me, the lyrics, again, reference a person suffering with true anxiety … “worried and hurried” … “innocent until proven innocent” …. We are all “hurting … and it is magnificent.” This is the antagonist of the story, perhaps the “devil” from something special, reveling in our despair… Maybe this condition, the anxiety we feel in the face of trying to be deliberate and honest and open to our life is the “price of admission” for our human condition. The refrain offers some direction though …. When the challenges set in, “don’t react, respond” … in other words, don’t give in to your impulses, recognize things for what they are, hard times are fleeting moments, … not necessarily the truth of your life. Our consciousness and our intention “could be fighting together”, connected with meaning and intention because as “the light gets brighter” “the darkness recedes.” This song, to me, is a head nod to idea that we can overcome the burdens that challenge us through deliberate thought and perseverance. This is the beginning of the road map.

The wreckage is spectacular. We are all “visited by thoughts” that maybe we’re not inclined to deal with or confront, or, thoughts that present themselves incessantly and are hard to cast aside, or turn town. Our neuro pathways, our bad habits, are made by “DNA chains” “refusing to release.” We all have to be honest with who we are, and who we not. Sometimes, life feels like we’re just coming through the “wreckage” to find true meaning, true purpose. Life is not about “who is wrong or who is right” … we are called to a higher purpose – acceptance, love of others, self-love. The only thing we can do is hold on for the ride. Life is really about the journey, not the result.

Dark matter is a direct acknowledgement, the most transparent of the album, of the challenges of life. Hard times will “take the breath from our chest[s]” and “break the thoughts in our mind” … “dark matter” , in the most broad sense, exists all around us … in today’s day and age, so much feels beyond our control. Without getting political or hyperbolic, many of us sense that our lives are heavily influenced by forces beyond our control. “Its strange these days when everybody else pays for someone else’s mistake.” In the depths of our hard times, we are sometimes inclined to blame others …

“Wont tell” is spectacular. To my ear, the female referenced in this song is the concept of relief. “Her eyes were soft and sympathized” and had a “vision so uncompromised.” This lyric brings me to my knees. In the arc of the album, This is the first notion that relief is around available, and maybe even around the corner. Perhaps all we have to do is acknowledge that the world is bigger than us, and ask for help? That soring chorus, “you can find me here, waiting for your message to come, can you heal? Can you feel the chains in my heart?” is a cry for help … a plea … an acknowledgment that life is about letting go and opening ourselves up…. It’s also a promise to follow any guidance or relief that can be obtained. This is an acknowledgement that we’re all fallible, we’re all human, and asking for help is ok … I love the pivot from “chains” to “change” in the chorus as the song progresses and I love the bridge: “I’d open the door, I’d let you in, I would open it if you came, but if it’s not you knocking, it’s staying closed.” Sometimes, in the depths of our sorrows, we turn to the wrong things for relief … toxic relationships, drugs or alcohol … I hear this to mean, only if it’s truly relief at the door, will I open it, i.e., I want real change, I will avoid the things that are not healthy for me … I’d rather rot with my anxiety than feed the monster with bad tendencies. But can you feel my heart and the change I want to implement in my life? I’m well intentioned, I want to do better.

Upper hand is a true reckoning ….the math is what the math is … for Ed, and for the protagonist, the end is closer than the beginning, that’s just the truth. We have all lived through ups and downs and seen “the light and sights” … though we may be the only one reading the books of our lives, that doesn’t mean they haven’t been important. The refrain of this song has grown on me so much …. Who the hell knows what we’re doing, or where we’re going, but we’re trying our best, and at bottom, I hope those around me are smiling and live a good and proud life. I’m doing the best I can. Also, I hear some self-depracation from Ed here … we all sometimes feel like the lonely ship on the horizon and Ed probably feels undeserving, on some level, of the “bright light” of his life which has translated into “dark shadows” … to me, this is a reference to the burden of success… we all work for something or towards something … sometimes achieving our goals doesn’t relieve us of the pressures of our obligation and our conscience. Life is more than that. In this sense, life is “blurry” … there are not necessarily defined lines to guide our way. Ultimately, Ed references the need for “a few of you” and “maybe just the two of you.” I hear these lyrics as a nod to his children and to his legacy, not a retreat to his family … the most any of us may be able to do is ensure that our children are well-positioned for success .. those of us who are parents may be able to sympathize with this sentiment… Like, what the hell is the point of any of this, but I will invest everything I have into my children.

Waiting for Stevie is the culmination and crown jewel of this album. Love from others means very little if you don’t feel worthy of that love yourself. The protagonist in the song is a girl finding self-empowerment in the power of live music but really, the song is about overcoming the noise of life around us realizing that we are all, enough. Find the thing you are passionate about and pursue that thing .. invest in that thing … never give ups. This song is about being proactive and deliberate in working towards overcoming those things that hold you down. We can call be loved and we can all be love. We can overcome the trials and tribulations of our life through love.

Running is frenetic and frantic and the lyrics mirror the music …. Sometimes life feels like a race that never ends …. Our lives should be the product of our deliberate choices and not suffer from the inadvertent nature of the “water running” i.e., we are responsible for ourselves and notwithstanding our date with the gallows, i.e, the inevitability of death, we must resist the bullshit and pursue our lives in earnest and not take a back seat the things happening around us. This is a call to be deliberate.

Something special is a bit on the nose, but to me, and as the father of 3 girls under 13, it’s really a testament to the value of breaking the bad vibes in your life by investing in the people who you love around you, whoever that may be. All you need is love, truly. this song is infectious for that reason.

Got to Give is so interesting, it’s a roadmap, an ingredient in the recipe for resisting the bad times in your life. Life can feel like “a broken engine busted, lifted up on blocks” but through perseverance and hard work, success is possible…. You just have to commit to being the last one standing and along the way, the first to forgive those around you. Push back against your anxiety and depression, or the things that hold you down. “lets get to the point”, “the pain of this every day has got to give” at some point, and life is about weathering the storm together … “together, you and me … can take on anyone.” Life is about doubling down on those you have already bet on and refusing to lose. Relief is coming… all things change and nothing is forever. The hard times will relent.

Setting sun is just perfect … love the reference to casts resetting bones, and how there is no such thing. To me, this references the WORK that goes into being awake and alive and deliberate … nothing is free. We owe it to ourselves to do the work. To fix one’s love for themselves, and to move forward, we have to recognize that we’re not a stranger knocking on the door, or an outsider or byproduct or passenger to our own perceived reality … we have control of ourselves and we are the solution to our problems. the problems, the turmoil, the hardships, AND THE SOLUTIONS, are within us. When the music pivots in the last 2 minutes of the song, Ed references the existential tension of life (and the by-line for the album to me)… you can be plugged in, and trying, and working, but the results don’t come … sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one putting the work in … “Am I the only one hanging on?” the strength of our lives is found in the struggle of trying to be good, trying to do right, and committing yourself to those around us that we love. “If you could see … what I see now, you’d make your way to stay.” The success of life is found truly in the process of trying to overcome its obstacles … the journey is what counts … Ed doesn’t wish “happy days” for us at the end of the song, he wishes us “long days” … “until kingdom come…” “We could become one last setting sun, or be the sun at the break of done.” I hear this as a reference to our potential, to the progress and self-evolution that waits for us at the other end of our hard work.

Ultimately, I see an arc to the album and am totally enamored with the artistry of the music and the passion of the performances. Love love love. Thanks RM for indulging me.

Someone pointed this out many pages ago but I just now heard it because I was listening for it… the little vocal at the beginning of the Dark Matter single instrumental is a backing harmony in Something Special. Pretty cool since I was expecting to hear it on the album but didn’t.

Someone pointed this out many pages ago but I just now heard it because I was listening for it… the little vocal at the beginning of the Dark Matter single instrumental is a backing harmony in Something Special. Pretty cool since I was expecting to hear it on the album but didn’t.

Where in the song is that vocal part

All these amazing insights folks. I am still having a difficult time compartmentalization this album - it still exists as a whole to me on an amazing arc. I hope it stays this way as this album, like Pearl Jam, is greater as whole than its parts, every piece of the puzzle fitting just so. The outward (Gigaton) / inward (Dark Matter) dichotomy the thing I appreciate from your comments writ large holds especially true.