I'm glad people are loving Dark Matter. But in no universe is it Pearl Jam's second best album.

This album is the 48-minute version of the Retrograde outro.

I appreciate the indulgence of anyone who actually reads the below.... I'm in love with the album and have been thinking about it as a concept album, of sorts. My thoughts are below.

We all hear and consume music based on our own personal circumstances. I hear this album as an incredibly personal and effective testimony to the power of the human spirit and the triumph of the soul in the face of the everyday trials and tribulations we all confront. This album is, to me, a refutation of anxiety and depression, and those other things that hold so many of us back, and hinder our personal development and evolution and self-actualization. it's a push to push ourselves… to be honest with ourselves and each other… where gigaton was existential and outward, this album is inward and very intimate and personal. Where others have interpreted Ed singing about third parties, i.e., chris cornell, or his family, etc., I hear him singing to himself and to all of us, broadly, encouraging people to confront their skeletons … their personal monsters … their problems... it’s a call to do anything and everything necessary to accomplish self-actualization.

Scared of Fear sets the tone for the whole record and is probably my favorite song. For those that suffer from anxiety or depression and understand the cyclical and episodic nature of those conditions, the first few verses, to me, sound like the initial exposure to a bad episode and the realization that things are going to be challenging ahead .. doesn’t have to be that, could just be bad times, hardship … “did I say something wrong”, “did I walk out of step”, .. this feels to me like the internal monologue of, here we go again, what did I do wrong, why now? ”Do I have to be scared”? This is an acknowledgement of what is to come … how bad is it going to get? “I surrender to you”, i.e., I accept what’s to come … I love the line pre-chorus and chorus … “hurting yourself, it’s plain to see, I think you’re hurting yourself just to hurt me.” This sentiment is tethered to the name of the song, “Scared of Fear” … the condition of anxiety is really just the investment and entertainment of conspiracy theories about yourself … they’re never true, you just treat your worst fears like they are. “We used to laugh, we used to sing, we used to dance, we had our own scene…” this feels like the recollection of better times …. Life used to be easier, why are things so hard right now? The bridge references the “voices calling” “all around my head” which feels like what true anxiety feels like …, to me anyways …. A cacophonous and endless noise inside my head which I can’t turn off…. With this song, the stage is set for the album. I don’t want to be scared of fear, which is really what anxiety is… it’s fear. I want to confront it.

React / Respond feels like the logical next step and really resonates with me … I happen to be a lawyer and dig the legal references, though to me, the lyrics, again, reference a person suffering with true anxiety … “worried and hurried” … “innocent until proven innocent” …. We are all “hurting … and it is magnificent.” This is the antagonist of the story, perhaps the “devil” from something special, reveling in our despair… Maybe this condition, the anxiety we feel in the face of trying to be deliberate and honest and open to our life is the “price of admission” for our human condition. The refrain offers some direction though …. When the challenges set in, “don’t react, respond” … in other words, don’t give in to your impulses, recognize things for what they are, hard times are fleeting moments, … not necessarily the truth of your life. Our consciousness and our intention “could be fighting together”, connected with meaning and intention because as “the light gets brighter” “the darkness recedes.” This song, to me, is a head nod to idea that we can overcome the burdens that challenge us through deliberate thought and perseverance. This is the beginning of the road map.

The wreckage is spectacular. We are all “visited by thoughts” that maybe we’re not inclined to deal with or confront, or, thoughts that present themselves incessantly and are hard to cast aside, or turn town. Our neuro pathways, our bad habits, are made by “DNA chains” “refusing to release.” We all have to be honest with who we are, and who we not. Sometimes, life feels like we’re just coming through the “wreckage” to find true meaning, true purpose. Life is not about “who is wrong or who is right” … we are called to a higher purpose – acceptance, love of others, self-love. The only thing we can do is hold on for the ride. Life is really about the journey, not the result.

Dark matter is a direct acknowledgement, the most transparent of the album, of the challenges of life. Hard times will “take the breath from our chest[s]” and “break the thoughts in our mind” … “dark matter” , in the most broad sense, exists all around us … in today’s day and age, so much feels beyond our control. Without getting political or hyperbolic, many of us sense that our lives are heavily influenced by forces beyond our control. “Its strange these days when everybody else pays for someone else’s mistake.” In the depths of our hard times, we are sometimes inclined to blame others …

“Wont tell” is spectacular. To my ear, the female referenced in this song is the concept of relief. “Her eyes were soft and sympathized” and had a “vision so uncompromised.” This lyric brings me to my knees. In the arc of the album, This is the first notion that relief is around available, and maybe even around the corner. Perhaps all we have to do is acknowledge that the world is bigger than us, and ask for help? That soring chorus, “you can find me here, waiting for your message to come, can you heal? Can you feel the chains in my heart?” is a cry for help … a plea … an acknowledgment that life is about letting go and opening ourselves up…. It’s also a promise to follow any guidance or relief that can be obtained. This is an acknowledgement that we’re all fallible, we’re all human, and asking for help is ok … I love the pivot from “chains” to “change” in the chorus as the song progresses and I love the bridge: “I’d open the door, I’d let you in, I would open it if you came, but if it’s not you knocking, it’s staying closed.” Sometimes, in the depths of our sorrows, we turn to the wrong things for relief … toxic relationships, drugs or alcohol … I hear this to mean, only if it’s truly relief at the door, will I open it, i.e., I want real change, I will avoid the things that are not healthy for me … I’d rather rot with my anxiety than feed the monster with bad tendencies. But can you feel my heart and the change I want to implement in my life? I’m well intentioned, I want to do better.

Upper hand is a true reckoning ….the math is what the math is … for Ed, and for the protagonist, the end is closer than the beginning, that’s just the truth. We have all lived through ups and downs and seen “the light and sights” … though we may be the only one reading the books of our lives, that doesn’t mean they haven’t been important. The refrain of this song has grown on me so much …. Who the hell knows what we’re doing, or where we’re going, but we’re trying our best, and at bottom, I hope those around me are smiling and live a good and proud life. I’m doing the best I can. Also, I hear some self-depracation from Ed here … we all sometimes feel like the lonely ship on the horizon and Ed probably feels undeserving, on some level, of the “bright light” of his life which has translated into “dark shadows” … to me, this is a reference to the burden of success… we all work for something or towards something … sometimes achieving our goals doesn’t relieve us of the pressures of our obligation and our conscience. Life is more than that. In this sense, life is “blurry” … there are not necessarily defined lines to guide our way. Ultimately, Ed references the need for “a few of you” and “maybe just the two of you.” I hear these lyrics as a nod to his children and to his legacy, not a retreat to his family … the most any of us may be able to do is ensure that our children are well-positioned for success .. those of us who are parents may be able to sympathize with this sentiment… Like, what the hell is the point of any of this, but I will invest everything I have into my children.

Waiting for Stevie is the culmination and crown jewel of this album. Love from others means very little if you don’t feel worthy of that love yourself. The protagonist in the song is a girl finding self-empowerment in the power of live music but really, the song is about overcoming the noise of life around us realizing that we are all, enough. Find the thing you are passionate about and pursue that thing .. invest in that thing … never give ups. This song is about being proactive and deliberate in working towards overcoming those things that hold you down. We can call be loved and we can all be love. We can overcome the trials and tribulations of our life through love.

Running is frenetic and frantic and the lyrics mirror the music …. Sometimes life feels like a race that never ends …. Our lives should be the product of our deliberate choices and not suffer from the inadvertent nature of the “water running” i.e., we are responsible for ourselves and notwithstanding our date with the gallows, i.e, the inevitability of death, we must resist the bullshit and pursue our lives in earnest and not take a back seat the things happening around us. This is a call to be deliberate.

Something special is a bit on the nose, but to me, and as the father of 3 girls under 13, it’s really a testament to the value of breaking the bad vibes in your life by investing in the people who you love around you, whoever that may be. All you need is love, truly. this song is infectious for that reason.

Got to Give is so interesting, it’s a roadmap, an ingredient in the recipe for resisting the bad times in your life. Life can feel like “a broken engine busted, lifted up on blocks” but through perseverance and hard work, success is possible…. You just have to commit to being the last one standing and along the way, the first to forgive those around you. Push back against your anxiety and depression, or the things that hold you down. “lets get to the point”, “the pain of this every day has got to give” at some point, and life is about weathering the storm together … “together, you and me … can take on anyone.” Life is about doubling down on those you have already bet on and refusing to lose. Relief is coming… all things change and nothing is forever. The hard times will relent.

Setting sun is just perfect … love the reference to casts resetting bones, and how there is no such thing. To me, this references the WORK that goes into being awake and alive and deliberate … nothing is free. We owe it to ourselves to do the work. To fix one’s love for themselves, and to move forward, we have to recognize that we’re not a stranger knocking on the door, or an outsider or byproduct or passenger to our own perceived reality … we have control of ourselves and we are the solution to our problems. the problems, the turmoil, the hardships, AND THE SOLUTIONS, are within us. When the music pivots in the last 2 minutes of the song, Ed references the existential tension of life (and the by-line for the album to me)… you can be plugged in, and trying, and working, but the results don’t come … sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one putting the work in … “Am I the only one hanging on?” the strength of our lives is found in the struggle of trying to be good, trying to do right, and committing yourself to those around us that we love. “If you could see … what I see now, you’d make your way to stay.” The success of life is found truly in the process of trying to overcome its obstacles … the journey is what counts … Ed doesn’t wish “happy days” for us at the end of the song, he wishes us “long days” … “until kingdom come…” “We could become one last setting sun, or be the sun at the break of done.” I hear this as a reference to our potential, to the progress and self-evolution that waits for us at the other end of our hard work.

Ultimately, I see an arc to the album and am totally enamored with the artistry of the music and the passion of the performances. Love love love. Thanks RM for indulging me.

This album is the 48-minute version of the Retrograde outro.

The band is still hooked more heavily into an adult contemporary pop style of arranging their songs, but this is the first time it comes off as being completely natural rather than feeling like putting on a face.

Running is awesome, but, also, its presence and placement suggest the band knew exactly what it had wrought with Won't Tell/Upper Hand/Waiting for Stevie.

At the lyric:
‘Cause my heart, it aches and breaks
But I believe in you