Song of the Moment: Dead Man

[stip]

old thread archived here

[mikejasond]

Such a good song. I love the vibe of this and Eddie's vocals.

I don't like the repetition of 'mocking me' though....feels like it should have some rhyme there

[wease]

That would take away from the mocking aspect of the lyric if it was just a rhyme, tho.

[mikejasond]

I don't think that lyric sounds good. The second one can stay. The first can maybe be 'knocking me' or 'rocking me' or something.

[Kaius]

socking me

[Kaius]

focking me

[wease]

I don't think that lyric sounds good. The second one can stay. The first can maybe be 'knocking me' or 'rocking me' or something.

Then it wouldn't be mocking.

[mikejasond]

I don't think that lyric sounds good. The second one can stay. The first can maybe be 'knocking me' or 'rocking me' or something.

Then it wouldn't be mocking.

I don't think repeating the word mocking is necessary to create a 'mocking' tone or whatever it apparently is doing

[LoathedVermin72]

cocking me

[PHATJ]

Jesus Christ, this has become absurd.

[mikejasond]

I said I love the song I just had one criticism!

[Jorge]

The first can maybe be 'knocking me' or 'rocking me' or something.

[Jorge]

The hallways are all rocking me.

[mikejasond]

It doesn't have to be hallways. It can be something else. I just think the mocking line will have more punch as a rhyme.

[Jorge]

The ladies they're all rocking me?

[PHATJ]

Fuck my brain.

[Norris]

what happened here

[tooch]

this can't be real

[PHATJ]

mjd

[mikejasond]

I just don't like the repeated 'mocking me' where it sounds like there should be a rhyme. Otherwise the song is amazing.