Red Mosquito
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The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)
http://forums.theskyiscrape.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=6467
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Author:  E.H. Ruddock [ Mon August 31, 2015 8:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Can you imagine how good that guy feels now?

Author:  Strat [ Mon August 31, 2015 8:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

E.H. Ruddock wrote:
Can you imagine how good that guy feels now?



Im kind of envious to be honest. Maybe I should just get some surgery and clean some shit out.

Author:  LetMeSleep [ Mon August 31, 2015 8:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

This should prob go in the hatred or not understanding thread but here feels right.

Enemas. Who the hell would do that on a regular basis is a freaking weirdo. And these fucking comments didn't go unnoticed either. Hold it in there for as long as you can. We are kind of busy so would you mind sitting in the waiting room? There are 2 bathrooms there but if they're busy there's one down the hall. Uurrggghhh

Author:  Strat [ Mon August 31, 2015 8:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

LetMeSleep wrote:
This should prob go in the hatred or not understanding thread but here feels right.

Enemas. Who the hell would do that on a regular basis is a freaking weirdo. And these fucking comments didn't go unnoticed either. Hold it in there for as long as you can. We are kind of busy so would you mind sitting in the waiting room? There are 2 bathrooms there but if they're busy there's one down the hall. Uurrggghhh


Image

Author:  LetMeSleep [ Mon August 31, 2015 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Strat wrote:
LetMeSleep wrote:
This should prob go in the hatred or not understanding thread but here feels right.

Enemas. Who the hell would do that on a regular basis is a freaking weirdo. And these fucking comments didn't go unnoticed either. Hold it in there for as long as you can. We are kind of busy so would you mind sitting in the waiting room? There are 2 bathrooms there but if they're busy there's one down the hall. Uurrggghhh


Image


Author:  bodysnatcher [ Tue September 01, 2015 6:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Strat wrote:
:shock:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/08/3 ... ntcmp=hpff

Quote:
A 27-year-old man who was suffering from severe constipation for 10 years underwent surgery to remove a large stool from his colon.

The unidentified patient was evaluated at Second People’s Hospital in Chengdu, China, after complaining of stomach pain, Central European News (CEN) reported. While he had been admitted for the same pain previously, doctors had been unable to diagnosis the cause.

A series of X-rays revealed that the patient’s heart had shifted to the right because his colon had swelled to twice the normal size, CEN reported. Doctors diagnosed him with congenital megacolon, which can cause paralysis of the movements of the bowel and can sometimes lead to fecal tumors.

Surgeons later removed an 11-pound stool that had lodged itself in the patient’s colon and caused his severe pain. He is currently in recovery, CEN reported.


10 YEARS??

Man, if I don't go within 10 hours, I start to get a little worried.

Author:  bodysnatcher [ Tue September 01, 2015 6:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Worst constipation I ever had was about 10 years ago, and it lasted about 3 months. It was insane. I specifically remember the details of the timing bc I interviewed for job with a couple of people at a sit down dinner at a restaurant in Brooklyn the week before Memorial Day weekend. I ate a spinach salad. The only reason I remember this is bc it was the first spinach salad I ever ate in my life. Weird, I know. About a week passes, and I noticed I haven't pooped. At the time, I was working at a video store so I was on my feet all day, which usually kept me regular with all the jostling around. I shrugged off the dook-free week and go on my merry way. Another week goes by, and I'm getting a little weirded out that I haven't shit. My girlfriend is getting worried at this point too. The 3rd week rolls by, and we're well into June at this point. I go to the store and get some suppositories and stick one up my butt. About 2 hours later, I needed to shit. I'm so pumped in the moment I can hardly contain myself. I sit down, open a magazine, and **bloop**.

I look down, and it's the suppository.

Fast forward to Labor Day weekend. I still haven't taken a substantial shit. The ones I have taken have been little raisins here and there. Girlfriend and I are flying down to the beach to spend the weekend with her mom, who I am meeting for the first time since we began dating. I'm beyond worried about the plane flight, not knowing when the Kraken is going to be unleashed, if ever. I safely make the flight, land, walk into the airport, and my stomach does a somersault. I hit the can, but again, NOTHING. But I can tell something is happening because – even after all of this time – this is really the first time my stomach has truly acted up like this. We get to the hotel and I meet her mom. I'm sort of biting my lip at this point, some cold sweats underneath my eyes, but still no turtleheads in my pants. We check in, and the moment I step into the hotel room, it's game time. I squat on the can like a goddamn Olympic champion who had waited 4 years for their moment. I unleashed the most magnificent, pulverizing, mountainous glory of a crap I've ever seen in my life..... followed by a river of raw sewage. After it's done, I had to look down just to see what the hell this carnage looked like, considering it had been inside of me for 3 months.

Remember that spinach salad?

There it was. Staring right back at me.

I went and lay on the bed. It was the best I've ever felt in my entire life. Typing this right now, I can still remember how good I felt, 10 years later. Some people never forget their first kiss. The first time they touched a boob. The first time they drove a car. I'll never forget the way I felt after that shit. It was poetic. It was the closest to heaven on earth I'll ever get.

tl;dr: I ate a spinach salad. Three months later, I pooped the spinach salad.

Author:  dpupenya [ Tue September 01, 2015 2:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Epic. Bodysnatcher truly owns this thread

Author:  bada [ Tue September 01, 2015 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

I would think spinach salad would make you poop not constipate you.

Author:  Chris_H_2 [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

that story doesn't pass the smell test

Author:  NaiveAndTrue [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Sometimes I come here, wondering what I've missed.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't. :shock:

Author:  E.H. Ruddock [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

NaiveAndTrue wrote:
Sometimes I come here, wondering what I've missed.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't. :shock:

I wish I could have warned you.

Author:  Strat [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

E.H. Ruddock wrote:
NaiveAndTrue wrote:
Sometimes I come here, wondering what I've missed.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't. :shock:

I wish I could have warned you.



I think the thread title was ample warning.

Author:  E.H. Ruddock [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Strat wrote:
E.H. Ruddock wrote:
NaiveAndTrue wrote:
Sometimes I come here, wondering what I've missed.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't. :shock:

I wish I could have warned you.



I think the thread title was ample warning.

thanks, chud

Author:  Strat [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

E.H. Ruddock wrote:
Strat wrote:
E.H. Ruddock wrote:
NaiveAndTrue wrote:
Sometimes I come here, wondering what I've missed.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't. :shock:

I wish I could have warned you.



I think the thread title was ample warning.

thanks, chud



Ouch, ruddo. Ouch.

Author:  bodysnatcher [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

I've got another poop story dating back to awkward high school days that I'm holding onto until the right time. It's probably my best.

Author:  Strat [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

bodysnatcher wrote:
I've got another poop story dating back to awkward high school days that I'm holding onto until the right time. It's probably my best.



I used to have really bad IBS in high school/early college. It got to the point where i'd always take at least 2 immodium AD's before a hockey game because a few times I'd have to leave the ice and go to the locker room and blow my asshole out. Puke sometimes too it was so bad. So embarrassing.

Author:  bodysnatcher [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Strat wrote:
bodysnatcher wrote:
I've got another poop story dating back to awkward high school days that I'm holding onto until the right time. It's probably my best.



I used to have really bad IBS in high school/early college. It got to the point where i'd always take at least 2 immodium AD's before a hockey game because a few times I'd have to leave the ice and go to the locker room and blow my asshole out. Puke sometimes too it was so bad. So embarrassing.


I had the exact same thing, Strat. Compounded by a lingering case of giardia I got after swimming in a creek. Poop bros, we are.

Author:  Strat [ Tue September 01, 2015 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

bodysnatcher wrote:
Strat wrote:
bodysnatcher wrote:
I've got another poop story dating back to awkward high school days that I'm holding onto until the right time. It's probably my best.



I used to have really bad IBS in high school/early college. It got to the point where i'd always take at least 2 immodium AD's before a hockey game because a few times I'd have to leave the ice and go to the locker room and blow my asshole out. Puke sometimes too it was so bad. So embarrassing.


I had the exact same thing, Strat. Compounded by a lingering case of giardia I got after swimming in a creek. Poop bros, we are.



That's beautiful.

Author:  BigRedLedbetter [ Tue September 01, 2015 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

The other night I had a bunch of beer and popcorn and fell asleep. Yeah, not doing that again. Next morning was akin to giving birth but from my butthole.

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