Red Mosquito
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The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)
http://forums.theskyiscrape.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=6467
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Author:  LetMeSleep [ Fri August 28, 2015 11:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Don't forget bloody.

Author:  bada [ Sat August 29, 2015 12:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

LetMeSleep wrote:
Not good Bada. I once had a serious eye watering and starting to panic, holy shit this isn't happening and it's taken over 30 mins tennis ball type experience. I hope you don't develop arse grapes from it like I did.



Luckily no roids. Miracle.

Author:  Strat [ Sat August 29, 2015 1:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

If you have to push, you don't have to go.

Author:  E.H. Ruddock [ Sat August 29, 2015 1:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Strat wrote:
If you have to push, you don't have to go.

Truth

Author:  LetMeSleep [ Sat August 29, 2015 1:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Hydration is key.

Author:  BurtReynolds [ Sat August 29, 2015 1:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford

Author:  Peeps [ Sat August 29, 2015 2:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

one of the symptoms of working out too much supposedly is the runs.

for two weeks now i havent had a solid BM but more like my ass is set to puree

Author:  Strat [ Sat August 29, 2015 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Peeps wrote:
one of the symptoms of working out too much supposedly is the runs.

for two weeks now i havent had a solid BM but more like my ass is set to puree


i never heard that in my life. Working out too much causes the runs. Maybe if you aren't hydrating properly or feeding your body the fuel it needs form extra exercise?

Author:  bada [ Sat August 29, 2015 2:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

"please god, please god, please god"

― bada on the toilet

Author:  daft twat [ Sat August 29, 2015 3:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

bada wrote:
Boy did I have a hard time with a poop this week. Probably the worst pain I've ever experienced. 45 min of sweating and agony. I was chewing on a towel like Jerry Tarkanian. It was like nothing I ever experienced. First I had to pass a racket ball sized crap. I suppose if you didn't go to a fitness club in the 80's you might not be able to picture a racket ball. Basically a plum. That took 30 min. Then after some serious rocking and squatting I dropped a foot long gearthy MF'er. I'm not exaggerating these sizes. Basically I crapped a B.B.C.. I have so much respect for porn stars now. How they can pretend they enjoy that is beyond me. Oscar worthy really. I usually crap rabbit pelmets so this was a real eye opener. Brown eye opener.


I posted this on the old board years ago. I will never forget what I saw, and I still think of it from time to time:

i am a high school teacher. my classroom and one of boys' bathrooms in the building share a wall. today between 4th and 5th period, 2 seniors stood outside my door, laughing, and called me over. they told me i had to check out the far stall in the bathroom. we had a kid in school last year who was a smearer. his work wasn't funny. anyway, i just asked, "do i need to lock the door and call the custodians?" one replied, "no, no, no. it's just that, the biggest turd ever is in that toilet." the other added, "it's unreal." i'm close to 35. part of me was dying to see this thing, but the professional i'm supposed to be just laughed and told the boys to get to class.

as i was greeting my 5th hour kids and taking role, the two seniors walked past my room with 4 or 5 other guys. i could hear the muffled laughter. when they filed back in the other direction, they were all smiling and one held up his camera phone triumphantly. i kind of lost it. what i mean is, i couldn't stop laughing. i used to be that kid. obviously, i didn't have a camera phone, but i would have done that. well, when another horde of boys already laughing in anticipation went past my room and in, i had to bust up the party. i went in and told them they all needed to get to class and that i was locking the door. they insisted i see it. i declined. as they rounded the corner and i fiddled with my key, i headed for the stall.

my expectation was that i would see an impressively long shit that poked well out of the water at one end and disappeared down the rabbit hole at the other. i've been there a couple times in my life, and i've always found it worth noting, at least to myself. when i finally looked into the toilet, i saw that i was all wrong. it wasn't about length; it was about girth. and holy shit, if you can a imagine a chipotle burrito, it's still not enough. it was in there not because the offender didn't flush, but because the hole would not accommodate. it wasn't some soft shit either. it was brick solid. a john wayne shit. i can see it clearly in my mind as i type this. what i cannot do is comprehend the human anus that expanded to allow this. and this was not the anus of a 70 year old man. this anus belonged to some poor bastard between the ages of 14 and 18. whoever that kid is, he will almost certainly remember the events of his life as having happened either before this shit or after.

not five minutes later, the custodian walked by my room with a large metal rod, which i supposed contained some snake apparatus. for the next two minutes, i could hardly teach over the sound of pounding on the other side of the wall. when he came out, he stopped in my room and said, "will you do me a favor and put up a sign on the door that says, 'bathroom is closed for the rest of the day'?"

i don't know any of you, but i wish you were all there. i feel like i've seen bigfoot, and there are other witnesses, but they're all the wrong kind, and everyone i tell will be skeptical and think i've only seen a bear on its hind legs.

Author:  daft twat [ Sat August 29, 2015 3:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Image

This is pretty much what I saw.

Author:  Peeps [ Sat August 29, 2015 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

that is amazing. im sorta jealous

Author:  Peeps [ Sat August 29, 2015 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

strat...

http://www.livestrong.com/article/46094 ... -exercise/

while i do make it a point to drink plenty of water (during cardio i drink 22oz with a preworkout mix) and during the day i drink another 66oz.

i am going to cut back on the cardio and skip the morning sessions and see how that goes

Author:  PHATJ [ Sat August 29, 2015 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

I just pooped. I always poop.

Author:  Mecca [ Sun August 30, 2015 8:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

ate corn yesterday. it showed up today

Author:  Sgt. Crackpot [ Sun August 30, 2015 10:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Mecca wrote:
ate corn yesterday. it showed up today


Author:  Biff Pocoroba [ Sun August 30, 2015 3:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

I usually don't poop in the morning but I woke up Friday having to go. So I did. I didn't flush because I was about to get in the shower. I closed the lid, expecting to remember to flush after shower. I didn't. It wasn't a smelly one either because before leaving I brushed my teeth after breakfast and I didn't notice it. I was at work all day Friday and went out afterwards. It was nearly midnight before I got home. I didn't go to my bedroom for a while but once I did I immediately hit a wall of aroma. It took me a second to realize I never flushed & my crap had a chance to ferment all day long. Open window, air fresheners, and ceiling fan.

Author:  PHATJ [ Sun August 30, 2015 3:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Biff Pocoroba wrote:
I usually don't poop in the morning but I woke up Friday having to go. So I did. I didn't flush because I was about to get in the shower. I closed the lid, expecting to remember to flush after shower. I didn't. It wasn't a smelly one either because before leaving I brushed my teeth after breakfast and I didn't notice it. I was at work all day Friday and went out afterwards. It was nearly midnight before I got home. I didn't go to my bedroom for a while but once I did I immediately hit a wall of aroma. It took me a second to realize I never flushed & my crap had a chance to ferment all day long. Open window, air fresheners, and ceiling fan.


Grody Jenner.

Author:  Strat [ Sun August 30, 2015 5:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Biff Pocoroba wrote:
I usually don't poop in the morning but I woke up Friday having to go. So I did. I didn't flush because I was about to get in the shower. I closed the lid, expecting to remember to flush after shower. I didn't. It wasn't a smelly one either because before leaving I brushed my teeth after breakfast and I didn't notice it. I was at work all day Friday and went out afterwards. It was nearly midnight before I got home. I didn't go to my bedroom for a while but once I did I immediately hit a wall of aroma. It took me a second to realize I never flushed & my crap had a chance to ferment all day long. Open window, air fresheners, and ceiling fan.




I've done this a few times. I had a girl over once when this happened. Luckily I was the first one to use the bathroom when we got home and was able to flush it down.

Author:  Strat [ Mon August 31, 2015 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

:shock:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/08/3 ... ntcmp=hpff

Quote:
A 27-year-old man who was suffering from severe constipation for 10 years underwent surgery to remove a large stool from his colon.

The unidentified patient was evaluated at Second People’s Hospital in Chengdu, China, after complaining of stomach pain, Central European News (CEN) reported. While he had been admitted for the same pain previously, doctors had been unable to diagnosis the cause.

A series of X-rays revealed that the patient’s heart had shifted to the right because his colon had swelled to twice the normal size, CEN reported. Doctors diagnosed him with congenital megacolon, which can cause paralysis of the movements of the bowel and can sometimes lead to fecal tumors.

Surgeons later removed an 11-pound stool that had lodged itself in the patient’s colon and caused his severe pain. He is currently in recovery, CEN reported.

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