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 Post subject: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sat February 28, 2015 10:21 pm 
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Future Drummer
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This is a serious thread, I know. I'm putting it out here not expecting anything or to throw people off, but because when you start to feel better it can be nice to to start acknowledging this part of your life without shame and hopefully eventually letting it go. Thanks for letting me do this, and if anybody wants to post, serious or funny, great. If nobody posts that's ok too. Just think of this post as a kind of exhaling or breathing out.


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 12:36 am 
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that was some pretty good exhaling


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 12:42 am 
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Life is life. :peace:


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 12:44 am 
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:thumbsup:


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 2:06 am 
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What I did to myself in high school in terms of frequency has got to figure in here.


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 2:34 am 
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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 3:06 am 
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delima for mod

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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 3:52 am 
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The Master
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Proud of this thread. This community can help heal as well.

:heartbeat:


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 2:31 pm 
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Future Drummer
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Thanks all. Dealing with this has been a long and hard time coming. I'm in way better shape than I was a few years ago. Feels good.

Maybe next election cycle I'll run for trauma sub-forum mod


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 2:33 pm 
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Make that trauma survivor sub-forum mod :peace:


Last edited by DeLima on Sun March 01, 2015 10:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 2:35 pm 
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"Sometimes you fuck the bar, sometimes the bar, well, he fucks you" - a wiser feller than me


the dude does abide


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 2:47 pm 
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BurtReynolds wrote:
"Sometimes you fuck the bar, sometimes the bar, well, he fucks you" - a wiser feller than me


I will say that in this case it was a she, which at least for me feels like it's made it tougher to deal with if anything. There's not much dialogue/support available out there for guys who were abused by gals. First, it's tougher to be believed, and second, the general attitude seems to be either 'come on, you wanted it,' or if you were definitely too young when it started to want it, 'you're a pussy for letting it happen.' I definitely felt the second thing for a long time and still feel like that sometimes even though I know in my head I clearly had no control over what was happening or way of escaping it.


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 2:57 pm 
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Strat wrote:
Proud of this thread. This community can help heal as well.

:heartbeat:



I feel the same way. No reason we can't be respectful and kind to each other when it's needed. Some of you I consider friends and thank you for that. :thumbsup:

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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Sun March 01, 2015 3:06 pm 
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daft twat wrote:
What I did to myself in high school in terms of frequency has got to figure in here.


I would bet a high proportion of the male population feels the same way


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Tue September 12, 2017 1:42 am 
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The other night, I went with my wife to see a speech by Marilyn Van Derbur, who's one of the most prominent childhood sexual abuse activists in the country. Before her speech, a local advocacy group was going through some slides about various things, and one of them included a list of various ailments and conditions that survivors are more likely to have than the rest of the population.

I exhibit every single one on the list.

I know I had experiences with this in the past, but, admittedly naively, I never thought it was something that affected me much, because it was another kid, not an adult. Therefore, I have never felt any anger toward my perpetrator. I feel like I can't even call him that? (Which I also admit is probably naive and wrong-headed.) I always thought all the stuff I need to work through was related to other stuff from my childhood, but I don't think I have been giving my "abuse" experience its proper mental due. Fuck. I need to stop dragging my feet on therapy.

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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Tue September 12, 2017 1:47 am 
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The Master
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LoathedVermin72 wrote:
The other night, I went with my wife to see a speech by Marilyn Van Derbur, who's one of the most prominent childhood sexual abuse activists in the country. Before her speech, a local advocacy group was going through some slides about various things, and one of them included a list of various ailments and conditions that survivors are more likely to have than the rest of the population.

I exhibit every single one on the list.

I know I had experiences with this in the past, but, admittedly naively, I never thought it was something that affected me much, because it was another kid, not an adult. Therefore, I have never felt any anger toward my perpetrator. I feel like I can't even call him that? (Which I also admit is probably naive and wrong-headed.) I always thought all the stuff I need to work through was related to other stuff from my childhood, but I don't think I have been giving my "abuse" experience its proper mental due. Fuck. I need to stop dragging my feet on therapy.

Well this goes right along with your anxiety!

I mean, i dont want to make light of this all but this is in a sense a breakthrough for you. Right?


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Tue September 12, 2017 1:48 am 
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Strat wrote:
LoathedVermin72 wrote:
The other night, I went with my wife to see a speech by Marilyn Van Derbur, who's one of the most prominent childhood sexual abuse activists in the country. Before her speech, a local advocacy group was going through some slides about various things, and one of them included a list of various ailments and conditions that survivors are more likely to have than the rest of the population.

I exhibit every single one on the list.

I know I had experiences with this in the past, but, admittedly naively, I never thought it was something that affected me much, because it was another kid, not an adult. Therefore, I have never felt any anger toward my perpetrator. I feel like I can't even call him that? (Which I also admit is probably naive and wrong-headed.) I always thought all the stuff I need to work through was related to other stuff from my childhood, but I don't think I have been giving my "abuse" experience its proper mental due. Fuck. I need to stop dragging my feet on therapy.

Well this goes right along with your anxiety!

I mean, i dont want to make light of this all but this is in a sense a breakthrough for you. Right?

Probably. Seeing that list definitely set off alarm bells.

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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Tue September 12, 2017 1:53 am 
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The Master
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LoathedVermin72 wrote:
Strat wrote:
LoathedVermin72 wrote:
The other night, I went with my wife to see a speech by Marilyn Van Derbur, who's one of the most prominent childhood sexual abuse activists in the country. Before her speech, a local advocacy group was going through some slides about various things, and one of them included a list of various ailments and conditions that survivors are more likely to have than the rest of the population.

I exhibit every single one on the list.

I know I had experiences with this in the past, but, admittedly naively, I never thought it was something that affected me much, because it was another kid, not an adult. Therefore, I have never felt any anger toward my perpetrator. I feel like I can't even call him that? (Which I also admit is probably naive and wrong-headed.) I always thought all the stuff I need to work through was related to other stuff from my childhood, but I don't think I have been giving my "abuse" experience its proper mental due. Fuck. I need to stop dragging my feet on therapy.

Well this goes right along with your anxiety!

I mean, i dont want to make light of this all but this is in a sense a breakthrough for you. Right?

Probably. Seeing that list definitely set off alarm bells.


Well, good luck LV. With my depression and anxiety it really came down to "I dont want to be like this anymore". Then it took years to deal with it and make it manageable.


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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Tue September 12, 2017 4:26 am 
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I have sympathy for anyone who has been through this. I hope you can all be brave and work through your problems. Remember to feel compassion for yourself if it impacts you in any negative ways.

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 Post subject: Re: RM survivors of sexual abuse
PostPosted: Tue September 12, 2017 4:26 am 
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The Master
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