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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Mon February 12, 2018 4:14 pm 
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Dev wrote:
Monkey_Driven wrote:
There's been a 10 minute conversation outside my office about toilet flushing. One of my coworkers sons does not hold the handle down long enough to properly flush.

people need to change their focus.


Or, you know, actually work.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Mon February 12, 2018 4:23 pm 
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No wonder enrollment is down


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Mon February 12, 2018 4:28 pm 
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verb_to_trust wrote:
No wonder enrollment is down


It's going back up! We're not racists or all SJWs, I promise!


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Mon February 12, 2018 8:42 pm 
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i actually had to explain what a exclamation point was

'its the thing you hit the shift key and the number 1 at the same time....'

i almost said are you fucking kidding me in a joking way but alas i didnt


and he was serious

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...i really think i pissed myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Tue February 13, 2018 3:42 am 
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They had an open meeting today about new positions opening up at work, and all of the postings about it called it "Coffee Talk" at first, but then at the meeting last week our boss put this picture up on the big board and sent around the clip of the old SNL sketch:

Image

So when I got to work this afternoon I heard from 3 different people, "Hey are you going to....caaaaawfeeee towk today? hahaha." And then when a bunch of people got up to head to the meeting, I heard them saying, "Time for cawfeee, gotta go to cawfeee towk hahaha."

If the next meeting engenders Dr. Evil impressions I am fucking quitting.

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McParadigm wrote:
A+


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Tue February 13, 2018 3:44 am 
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durdencommatyler wrote:
LoathedVermin72 wrote:
A couple of my coworkers say “Goodbye forever,” every day when they go home and I think it’s kinda weird.

Are they big FRIENDS fans?

Oh no, is this a Friends reference??

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Dev wrote:
it's really not surprising someone of your body type is a marxist.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Tue February 13, 2018 1:31 pm 
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:)

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Chris_H_2 wrote:
...i really think i pissed myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Thu February 15, 2018 6:40 pm 
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Not a coworker but someone from the outside I have to deal with.

He sent me this email:

Quote:
I wanted to follow up and see what remains to be completed in order for me to gain access to my clients’ electronic records.


So I responded the only way I could think of:

Quote:
I am not seeing an email with the files attached. Did you fax them in by chance?


His response:

Quote:
I receive an error message every time I attach them to your e-mail.


Image

AND HE'S A LAWYER.

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"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands.”


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Thu February 15, 2018 6:41 pm 
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"half pike"

and

"DNZ" (DMZ)

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Clouuuuds Rolll byyy...BANG BANG BANG BANG


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Tue February 20, 2018 4:20 pm 
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cool beans

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Dev wrote:
just cuz im clinically depressed doesn't mean im not a total gangster.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Thu February 22, 2018 2:09 pm 
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We had maintenance on the elevators last night and they were out of order for a few hours, meaning people had to take the stairs. This lead to a memo including this line:

In the event that you must take the stairs during this time, please be especially aware of any extra items or heavy items that you may be carrying. This can potentially be challenging as well as a safety hazard when using the stairwell.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Thu February 22, 2018 10:59 pm 
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I guess it's a good thing when you boss says, "Chris, you're a real pleasure to be around."

Probably a less good thing when he prefaces that with, "Since no one's around I can tell you this."

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"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands.”


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Thu February 22, 2018 11:22 pm 
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bune wrote:
I guess it's a good thing when you boss says, "Chris, you're a real pleasure to be around."

Probably a less good thing when he prefaces that with, "Since no one's around I can tell you this."

hi chris

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Dev wrote:
just cuz im clinically depressed doesn't mean im not a total gangster.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Fri February 23, 2018 1:40 am 
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lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
bune wrote:
I guess it's a good thing when you boss says, "Chris, you're a real pleasure to be around."

Probably a less good thing when he prefaces that with, "Since no one's around I can tell you this."

hi chris

Hey

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Clouuuuds Rolll byyy...BANG BANG BANG BANG


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Fri February 23, 2018 10:00 pm 
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that co worker that laughs after every “humorous” comment they make

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Dev wrote:
just cuz im clinically depressed doesn't mean im not a total gangster.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Fri February 23, 2018 10:06 pm 
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Now I know and knowing is half the battle hahahahaha

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Dev wrote:
just cuz im clinically depressed doesn't mean im not a total gangster.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Fri February 23, 2018 10:25 pm 
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lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
bune wrote:
I guess it's a good thing when you boss says, "Chris, you're a real pleasure to be around."

Probably a less good thing when he prefaces that with, "Since no one's around I can tell you this."

hi chris

s'up.
E.H. Ruddock wrote:
lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
bune wrote:
I guess it's a good thing when you boss says, "Chris, you're a real pleasure to be around."

Probably a less good thing when he prefaces that with, "Since no one's around I can tell you this."

hi chris

Hey

I know I've said this before but my last boss's name was Chris. I had to stop answering the phone with my name because people would launch into conversations with me.

There's three other Chris's on this floor. Luckily one's retiring and the other doesn't come round here that often. The third was 'resigned' in lieu of bring fired.

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"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands.”


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Fri February 23, 2018 10:32 pm 
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it’s raining chris

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Dev wrote:
just cuz im clinically depressed doesn't mean im not a total gangster.


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Fri February 23, 2018 10:33 pm 
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It's a great name

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Clouuuuds Rolll byyy...BANG BANG BANG BANG


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 Post subject: Re: Things Your Coworkers Say
PostPosted: Fri February 23, 2018 10:37 pm 
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At one point in middle school I tried going by my middle name because there were so many. It didn't last a week.

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"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands.”


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