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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:00 pm 
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The Master
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Dev wrote:
I am still available for Skype sessions. 20$ Canadian. Real help.

with my upcoming demotion at work i cannot afford that

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Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:03 pm 
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NEVER STOP JAMMING!
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i love you lenny..ill pay it


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:04 pm 
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doug rr wrote:
i love you lenny..ill pay it

that's okay...i love u too

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Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:05 pm 
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lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
doug rr wrote:
i love you lenny..ill pay it

that's okay...i love u too


Fear is the lock and laughter the key to your heart


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:09 pm 
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doug rr wrote:
lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
doug rr wrote:
i love you lenny..ill pay it

that's okay...i love u too


Fear is the lock and laughter the key to your heart

heh

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Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:20 pm 
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ive been having a really hard time dealing with deaths and feel even more like an emotional cripple that i normally am.

    you kind of expect your grandmother to pass (she was 91) but it still hurt and i clammed up.

    my father passed away and while that was a little easier as i just pretended he was still in california (he had moved back here and lived for about 9 months before passing away in his sleep)

    my mother i extended her life by recognizing she was having issues and gave her no choice when i took her to her the hospital (she was in the final stages of kidney failure and most of her organs were shutting down) and while she was recovering thanked me for saving her life (that is really a type of pressure/compliment that is hard to digest, least for me). a few weeks later she had a relapse and pretty much watched her body shut down and look at me without an ounce of awareness in her eyes. she passed a few days later after we made the decision to remover her from life support

    i had returned from vacation from my sister and brother in laws for about a week and a half when my niece called to say she found her mother slumped over at her desk at work (a week later they pulled the plug as she had an aneuryism and had almost 0 signs of brain activity)

    just this past weekend i went to my aunts mothers viewing. ive known these people and her and her husband have treated me like one of their own and i could barely look her husband in the eye to say anything so i just stayed off to the side

my stepfather has lived a very long life 88+ years and he is getting to the point that he wants to start clearing out his basement (that he and my mom shared) to get rid of things. when he goes i will pretty much be an empty vessel of expressiveless emotion

im thinking about contacting my dr to go back on lexapro to see if helps me from not dwelling on these facts of life. there are times that just dont feel like leaving the house or times when im on the treadmill and just become so overwrought with emotion that my eyes well up and i have to wipe my face several times to wipe away the tears

it really is paralyzing what fear and anxiety can do to a person

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Chris_H_2 wrote:
...i really think i pissed myself.


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:54 pm 
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man i'm sorry to hear that peeps - i can't imagine how that feels...if i had family members die i think i'd react similarly...is all of this somewhat recent?

i'm back on lexapro too, not sure if it worked for me before but we'll see

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Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:56 pm 
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I wish I was still 20 and oblivious. I think about the health of my parents all the time so I get that Peeps. My fiance is always talking about moving someplace warm (it was 90 here today) and I don't think she gets that would mean seeing close family only a handful more times before they die. It's too fucked up to even consider in my opinion. I have lunch every Monday and Thursday with my mom and I'm going to be able to take that with me when she passes someday.


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Mon July 10, 2017 11:58 pm 
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verb_to_trust wrote:
I wish I was still 20 and oblivious. I think about the health of my parents all the time so I get that Peeps. My fiance is always talking about moving someplace warm (it was 90 here today) and I don't think she gets that would mean seeing close family only a handful more times before they die. It's too fucked up to even consider in my opinion. I have lunch every Monday and Thursday with my mom and I'm going to be able to take that with me when she passes someday.

what's bothering me lately is my parents have been helping me a lot the last few months, which is a good thing...but i know they won't be here forever and as they age i'm going to have to help take care of them...hopefully i will have myself straightened out enough to do that

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Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 12:09 am 
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gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

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Chris_H_2 wrote:
...i really think i pissed myself.


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 12:10 am 
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verb_to_trust wrote:
I wish I was still 20 and oblivious. I think about the health of my parents all the time so I get that Peeps. My fiance is always talking about moving someplace warm (it was 90 here today) and I don't think she gets that would mean seeing close family only a handful more times before they die. It's too fucked up to even consider in my opinion. I have lunch every Monday and Thursday with my mom and I'm going to be able to take that with me when she passes someday.


i give you shit for your crappy hatred of bron and wade but you fucking enjoy the hell out all those lunches and be a good son and let her supersize once in a while

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Chris_H_2 wrote:
...i really think i pissed myself.


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 12:56 am 
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Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

i love you, peeps

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Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 1:03 am 
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Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)

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Dev wrote:
you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.

Spoiler: show
people change. people stay the same. people are so often disappointing - random PM, person unnamed


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 1:15 am 
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malice wrote:
Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)


we're just glad you're here again to yell at us


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 1:22 am 
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doug rr wrote:
malice wrote:
Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)


we're just glad you're here again to yell at us

I really only yell at dev

_________________
Dev wrote:
you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.

Spoiler: show
people change. people stay the same. people are so often disappointing - random PM, person unnamed


Top
 
 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 1:33 am 
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The Master
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Joined: Wed January 02, 2013 3:21 pm
Posts: 50824
malice wrote:
doug rr wrote:
malice wrote:
Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)


we're just glad you're here again to yell at us

I really only yell at dev

and me

_________________
Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


Top
 
 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 2:17 am 
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Location: faked by jorge
lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
malice wrote:
doug rr wrote:
malice wrote:
Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)


we're just glad you're here again to yell at us

I really only yell at dev

and me

I don't yell at you, i speak forcefully in order to underscore the sincerity of my intent.

_________________
Dev wrote:
you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.

Spoiler: show
people change. people stay the same. people are so often disappointing - random PM, person unnamed


Top
 
 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 2:21 am 
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The Master
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Joined: Wed January 02, 2013 3:21 pm
Posts: 50824
malice wrote:
lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
malice wrote:
doug rr wrote:
malice wrote:
Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)


we're just glad you're here again to yell at us

I really only yell at dev

and me

I don't yell at you, i speak forcefully in order to underscore the sincerity of my intent.

i love you, mary

_________________
Jammer XCI wrote:
My bong got broken tonight


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 2:23 am 
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Joined: Tue January 01, 2013 2:22 pm
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lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
malice wrote:
lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
malice wrote:
doug rr wrote:
malice wrote:
Peeps wrote:
gram i believe was in 2006, dad 2008, mom 2012, sister in 2015

it's been nearly 40 years since my mom died and i still find myself getting teary eyed sometimes. I don't think it ever goes away, obviously, but i think over the years ive gotten a lot of satisfaction from trying to remember my favorite things about her. And i don't try to stifle my feelings or reactions i have related to her, ever. As ive aged I've tried to reap whatever happiness i could from having her in my life for my childhood and learning what i could about her from my family members. (I had no real reason to post that but felt like mentioning it)


we're just glad you're here again to yell at us

I really only yell at dev

and me

I don't yell at you, i speak forcefully in order to underscore the sincerity of my intent.

i love you, mary

back atcha, david

_________________
Dev wrote:
you're delusional. you are a sad sad person. fuck off. you're mentally ill beyond repair. i don't need your shit. dissapear.

Spoiler: show
people change. people stay the same. people are so often disappointing - random PM, person unnamed


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 Post subject: Re: The Depression Thread: How insane are you?
PostPosted: Tue July 11, 2017 2:28 am 
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$20 CAD is only like $15.50 USD, ftr. That's a good deal.

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If we don't open our eyes to reality soon, they'll get fucked right out of our heads


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