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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Tue March 20, 2018 7:00 pm 
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pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
I’ve discussed it with him. He knows how I feel. According to him I have no need to worry and she’s just a friend.

That being said, it’s pissing me off more and more.

do you get to read the conversations? I believe in total transparency.

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Tue March 20, 2018 7:01 pm 
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E.H. Ruddock wrote:
pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
I’ve discussed it with him. He knows how I feel. According to him I have no need to worry and she’s just a friend.

That being said, it’s pissing me off more and more.

Honest question, does it piss you off more that she's chatting him up or that after he knows how you feel he is still chatting with her? Because if it is the latter, you may need to let him know a littler stronger how you feel? I'd like to think if my significant other ever said they were uncomfortable with me chatting a lot with someone of the opposite sex, that I would stop. Because in the long run your feelings are more important than some friendly chatter.

this

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Tue March 20, 2018 9:36 pm 
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Dev wrote:
pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
I’ve discussed it with him. He knows how I feel. According to him I have no need to worry and she’s just a friend.

That being said, it’s pissing me off more and more.

do you get to read the conversations? I believe in total transparency.

No, he’s irritated that I “snooped.” I should respect privacy, etc. I think he’s being secretive because there’s more going on than he wants me to know. He said he talked her through a couple of bad dates, but it never occurred to him that she could be trying to chat him up.

I “snooped” because of the frequency of her notifications that come up on his phone and I have observed his unusually secretive behavior lately.

Deleted messages and some questionable selfies. I don’t even get selfies.

Just feeling like I’m being lied to and it’s pissing me off.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Tue March 20, 2018 9:39 pm 
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E.H. Ruddock wrote:
pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
I’ve discussed it with him. He knows how I feel. According to him I have no need to worry and she’s just a friend.

That being said, it’s pissing me off more and more.

Honest question, does it piss you off more that she's chatting him up or that after he knows how you feel he is still chatting with her? Because if it is the latter, you may need to let him know a littler stronger how you feel? I'd like to think if my significant other ever said they were uncomfortable with me chatting a lot with someone of the opposite sex, that I would stop. Because in the long run your feelings are more important than some friendly chatter.

Oh it’s definitely the latter. I don’t think I can push the issue stronger. I’m at the point where if there is no transparency then there is no me continuing in this ridiculous lie of a relationship. I don’t think I’m being dramatic either.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 3:26 am 
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No you aren't at all. You are definitely justified in your feelings. Gah, sorry you're going through this

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 3:27 am 
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Yeah, that sucks. Sorry, pep.

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 5:08 am 
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You guys live together, pep?

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 5:45 am 
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pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
A woman is chatting up my man on Facebook. I’m just going to be honest, it’s pissing me the fuck off, Dev. I’m low maintenance, very understanding usually, and even a bit naive still despite this not being my first rodeo. I’m beginning to hurt my own self worth over it now and that pisses me off even more. Maybe I’m becoming boring and uninteresting.

How do I beat this Facebook floozy at her own game?

Who is "she" to him anyway?

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 6:21 am 
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I initially thinking it sounded harmless, but that newer information does make it sound more suspicious.

It's up to you in terms of how you approach this, Pep. Is he worth the battle? If so, fight for him (maybe *cough* "eradicate" *cough* her). If he's not worth it, let her take your problem away so he can become her problem.

Either way, I'm sorry you're going through this.

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 11:42 am 
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Dev wrote:
You guys live together, pep?

Yes. We’ve been together for 8 years. We have a great life so I don’t understand the draw.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 11:50 am 
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knee tunes wrote:
pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
A woman is chatting up my man on Facebook. I’m just going to be honest, it’s pissing me the fuck off, Dev. I’m low maintenance, very understanding usually, and even a bit naive still despite this not being my first rodeo. I’m beginning to hurt my own self worth over it now and that pisses me off even more. Maybe I’m becoming boring and uninteresting.

How do I beat this Facebook floozy at her own game?

Who is "she" to him anyway?

Someone from high school, whom he reconnected with because she was chasing after another male friend from school. She lives in another state, so I’m not worried he’s meeting with her. He did recently take a business trip very close to her and that’s why I snooped.

What I read was her messaging over and over about meeting for a drink while he was there, so he gave her the address to his hotel.

She reads like a manipulative cunt and he reads like a dumb mother fucker.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:28 pm 
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Sgt. Crackpot wrote:
I initially thinking it sounded harmless, but that newer information does make it sound more suspicious.

It's up to you in terms of how you approach this, Pep. Is he worth the battle? If so, fight for him (maybe *cough* "eradicate" *cough* her). If he's not worth it, let her take your problem away so he can become her problem.

Either way, I'm sorry you're going through this.


Thanks, I appreciate it. It sucks. It has changed my love for him to be honest. That’s his loss I guess? Hard to feel secure in my relationship right now.


He’s worth it, but maybe not? I’m disgusted by her, but ultimately it’s his responsibility to keep his distance from her. He’s upset that I don’t trust him. I think he’s in denial and we have a much bigger issue that relates to our relationship and this woman is just a symptom of that. So my concern isn’t really her at all even though I think she’s a disgustingly selfish individual with a severely low IQ. Good thing she has God and the zodiac to guide her through life!

If I messaged her, she could blow that up with mutual friends. That’s not a scene I’m interested in having.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:36 pm 
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Honestly, he was on a trip and gave another woman the address to his hotel.

I'd end the relationship.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:42 pm 
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run2death wrote:
Honestly, he was on a trip and gave another woman the address to his hotel.

I'd end the relationship.

Man, this is harsh, but pretty much how I'd feel. But I don't know everything going on, pep. Again, sorry to hear all of this.

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:44 pm 
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pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
If I messaged her, she could blow that up with mutual friends. That’s not a scene I’m interested in having.

Alternatively, you could give us her name and we could all message her on FB

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:45 pm 
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run2death wrote:
Honestly, he was on a trip and gave another woman the address to his hotel.

I'd end the relationship.

With the context of her having told him she's uncomfortable with them communicating, yeah
If he was sneaking around, then double-yeah

But boiled down to those facts like you did here -- he went on a trip and gave another woman the address to his hotel -- that's silly. I go on trips and have female friends in other cities. We get together and have drinks or dinner. It doesn't mean I'm cheating on my girlfriend.

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Last edited by theplatypus on Wed March 21, 2018 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:48 pm 
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run2death wrote:
Honestly, he was on a trip and gave another woman the address to his hotel.

I'd end the relationship.


It’s not unusual to make the trip easier by meeting for drinks at the restaurant bar at the hotel. But, yeah. It doesn’t buff out and playing dumb about a woman that’s clearly chasing him, isn’t sitting well with me. Like I said, this woman is a symptom.

He’s literally clueless about women that like to make “besties” with other women’s husbands.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:50 pm 
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E.H. Ruddock wrote:
pepperwhiteMFC wrote:
If I messaged her, she could blow that up with mutual friends. That’s not a scene I’m interested in having.

Alternatively, you could give us her name and we could all message her on FB


Oh man, I’m tempted to. I can’t though. I just can’t deal with anything that turns into a can of worms.


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 12:52 pm 
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theplatypus wrote:
run2death wrote:
Honestly, he was on a trip and gave another woman the address to his hotel.

I'd end the relationship.

With the context of her having told him she's uncomfortable with them communicating, yeah
If he was sneaking around, then double-yeah

But boiled down to those facts like you did here -- he went on a trip and gave another woman the address to his hotel -- that's silly. I go on trips and have female friends in other cities. We get together and have drinks or dinner. It doesn't mean I'm cheating on my girlfriend.

Do your female friends in general, message you every day and ask how you slept? Or how lunch was? Or send you a photo wearing a “nude photo” kitchen apron?


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 Post subject: Re: The Dating Thread
PostPosted: Wed March 21, 2018 1:01 pm 
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Yeah. None of those things are really that scandalous (though I have no idea what a "nude photo apron" is); my best friend and I text daily, and there's a lot of innocuous "how was lunch" talk. But I'm not going to tell you your fears are unjustified; I don't know the situation at all. I just bristled at the notion that being on a trip and giving your hotel address to a woman is some horrible breach of trust.

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