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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 2:06 am 
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NEVER STOP JAMMING!
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the sponsors were the best part of those sketches:

"Wilson Ear Drill - we don't recommend that you use an ear drill, but if you insist, why not get the best!"


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 2:47 am 
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Judge.....Siobhan Fallon
Cirroc.....Phil Hartman
Jury Foreman.....Dana Carvey



Announcer: [ over SUPER ] "One hundred thousand years ago, a caveman was out hunting on the frozen wastes when he slipped and fell into a crevasse. In 1988, he was discovered by some scientists and thawed out. He then went to law school and became.. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

Jingle: "He used to be a caveman,
but now he's a lawyer.
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!"

Announcer: Brought to you by.. Gas Plus - actually gives you gas, for those times when you feel like being the joker; and by National Escort Services - if we don't get a prostitute to your door in 15 minutes, you don't pay; and by Happy Fun Ball - still legal in 16 states - it's legal, it's fun, it's Happy Fun Ball! And now, tonight's episode of "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer".

[ open on interior, courtroom, the Judge banging her gavel ]

Judge: Mr. Cirroc, are you ready to give your summation?

Cirroc: [ stepping out] It's just "Cirroc", your Honor.. and, yes, I'm ready. [ approaches the jury box ] Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you.

Judge: The jury will now retire to deliberate.

Jury Foreman: [ standing ] Your Honor.. we don't need to retire. Cirroc's words are just as true now as they were in his time. We give him the full amount.

[ the jury applauds Cirroc ]

Judge: Did you hear that, Mr. Cirroc?

Cirroc: [ cell phone to his ear ] Hang on a second.. [ to the judge ] I-I'm sorry, your Honor. I was listening to the magic voices coming out of this strange modern invention! [ smiles maliciously to the camera ]

Announcer: This has been "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer". Join us next week for another episode. Here's a scene.

[ cut to Cirroc and his caveman family standing before a podium at a political rally ]

Cirroc: Thank you! Thank you very much, thank you! First of all, let me say how happy I am to be your nominee for the United States Senate! [ applause ] You know.. thank you.. I don't really understand your Congress, or your system of checks and balances.. because, as I said during the campaign - I'm just a caveman! I fell on some ice, and later got thawed out by scientists. But there is one thing I do know - we must do everything in our power to lower the Capitol Gains Tax. Thank you!

Announcer: Next time, on "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer".



SNL Transcripts

http://www.specialcabledeals.com/comcas ... ages-.html

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i ran over a bird this morning :(


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 2:49 am 
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tragabigzanda wrote:
cutuphalfdead wrote:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts.

finally someone talking some sense in this thread


Image

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lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
i ran over a bird this morning :(


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 9:55 am 
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E.H. Ruddock wrote:
Looks like it's only for a day

damnit!

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Dev wrote:
Thip is no the best poster ever like you say.


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 12:45 pm 
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LoathedVermin72 wrote:
He also hates Jews



Opposing Israel’s endless atrocities upon Palestinians isn’t hating Jews, you shit covered cockless moron.

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durdencommatyler wrote:
dimejinky-the Han Solo of RM.


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 12:52 pm 
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dimejinky99 wrote:
LoathedVermin72 wrote:
He also hates Jews



Opposing Israel’s endless atrocities upon Palestinians isn’t hating Jews, you shit covered cockless moron.


LV isn’t worth the headache, Dime.


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 2:04 pm 
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ok enough with this joke, where is dime?

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BONE FUCKIN´ TOMAHAWK.


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 2:14 pm 
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dimejinky99 wrote:
LoathedVermin72 wrote:
He also hates Jews



Opposing Israel’s endless atrocities upon Palestinians isn’t hating Jews, you shit covered cockless moron.

I love this as a comeback post after a ban

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oh no!


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 2:21 pm 
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That was a great post ban comment and as an Irish American Catholic I pardon Dime. Even though everyone I know are Bill Clinton Democrats I'm going to assume he knows my people better than me cause I sure as hell don't want to spend time with them.


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 Post subject: Re: I have been informed a regular poster was banned tonight
PostPosted: Mon July 16, 2018 3:49 pm 
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He's back. I'll go ahead and lock this before someone gets banned for personal attacks.

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